Deathsdarkness ( F P C D )
at 2009-06-22
This is a good poem but
get rid of all the repetive lines
get rid of the slashes
where is says old so old delete that
delete some of the periods like them lines of them
but the structure is good so is the emotion there is no rythem really which would make it better and more smoother to read
well done
A POETRY COMMUNITY
POEMS