Comments : Welcome Back

  • 7 years ago

    by Life After Death

    Wow was not expecint that ending!

  • 6 years ago

    by Mark

    Well Nams. Over here! Lol. Considering every even numbered line rhymes...a creation of stanzas would attract more comments? Only because it seems like a long read the way it is formatted. Maybe every eight lines can form a stanza? If a four line stanza ...your rhyming scheme is abcb?

    Not taking anything away from the content ...its quite intriguing. The first eight lines...

    "Welcome back to the world
    of the un-dead"
    She whispered slowly to me
    as I lay down my head
    How can I be back?
    "It's easy my dear!
    You were an easy target.."
    was the reply in my ear.

    Already I can sense a haze about what is happening...darkness and a whisper in your ear. The undead reference is intriguing.

    Further on you 'open your eyes', like being awake in a dream. This rare occurrence is an interesting theme throughout your works. As if life sometimes feels to you like living in a dream, albeit a dark one.

    The references here to demons and being cuffed. I wonder if this is symbolic of real life occurences for you. Maybe depression has you tied down (cuffs) and the demons are nihilistic thoughts. I get the impression you feel like are a prisoner in your own mind sometimes.

    The visuals of you struggling and crying for help are very powerful and vivid. This 'she' is an interesting figure in all this, wonder if she too is an actual figure in your life. Someone keeping you down perhaps, or who ignores the depressed side of you.

    You seem to succomb to the power of the darkness. The cold reference maybe you body waking itself up. The demons whisper 'nooo' as you are returning. Their you are.... It was all a dream. And a fascinating ...well written one too.

    Aside from structure. This piece reveals your mind to be complex, and dark at times. It reads that you may have inner demons you are battling. These are manifesting themselves in your dreams. At least that is how I interpret them after analysis. Hugs Nams!

    • 6 years ago

      by deeplydesturbed

      Thanks Mark - i may actually seperate them :)
      thank you for the suggestion!!