Submission date : 2012-10-13
Last edit : 2012-10-17
LostWords ( F P C D )
Another INTENSE one! I love it! You really don't hold back do you?
Your punches seem to be getting more soft.
Wow...just wow. This line is great. It shows how much pain he is really giving you, how you can almost be desensitized with each hit.
I love the incorporation of the title. The imagery of black roses and bloody lips. Amazing! 5/5
TSI25 ( F C D )
Trying to crawl slowly away to get away from all harm.
that was the only bit that threw me a little, i think saying "away" two times so close together compromises the over all flow to some extent, but thats just me being nitpicky... id probably go with something like
"Crawling slowly away to escape from the harm"
but its your poem so write it the way you want.
over all very good, very abusive, very dark.
very demoralizing, in a good way.