Gingerbread House (Acrostic)

by JaneDoeWrites   Jan 3, 2014


Gangling tree tops roof the wood
Intertwining themselves from where we stood
Nighttime nears, pines shiver and creak
Going home now, a dream barred from our reach
Evening time dusk invites an aromatic musk
Rising from the chimney of an ironless hut
Brothers grip tightens as we perch on the lawn
Red and white mint pillars, shingles perfectly drawn
Enveloped in hunger, we head for the shack
And scoff down the cake roof and fill up our sack, while the
Door slowly opening squeaks "come eat and come nap"

Her cackle is earnest, we're locked in a cage
Oven is heating and she's prepping a glaze!
Unlocked from the prison- we can't run, we can't dash
Shove the enchantress in the kiln and shut the door fast!
Eccentric and alive, we dance in her ash.

**Based off of the fairytale Hansel and Gretel/ For a club challenge**

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Narph

    Judging Comment:

    I'm so impressed by this poem... Like, truly. Let me explain: to me, rhyme is tedious and acrostics are just acronyms... not much special there. But this poem changed my mind. The imagery was elegant and the word choice was well thought out and perfectly crafted. The way this poet utilized rhyme was spectacular. I never felt that the rhymes were reaching, never second guessed the poets word choice. The poet didn't limit themselves to exact rhymes, rather, they focused on an assonance based rhyme which was very successful and smart. I love the liveliness of the voice in the poem, too. It matched well with the rhythm of the piece. Really, really good job! :)

  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    I loved the imagery it is so fantastic. This is in the dark category but I think it's more thrilling. But you did such a great job building up the suspense throughout. The wording to me greatly placed because you used words to build up the poem. The woods at night and even in the day has this really creepy factor. The rhyming is perfect as well I feel and the tone is great too. As I said the beginning is dark but at the end there is happiness because these two kids have overcome and now are free. Overall great work I enjoyed this a lot