Seeing As You Do

by Once an Angel   Jun 23, 2015


I saw me
in those moments,
as you see me.
Who is she?
Even I
did not know
I masquerade so well.
You know so little,
so little of me.
Should I say?
Should I tell?
I think not.

You know
as much as you wish to.
You listen
as much as you want to.
Distancing
the most painful parts of me.
Disdaining
what you don't understand.
Dismissing,
what does not fit.
Choosing
your understanding
of the world,
of my life,
over and above my own,
always.

You say
I am too young,
I do not know
the truth your wisdom brings.
My struggles will pass,
with reliance on God,
and the passage of time.

You value the mask,
over the pieces of honesty
I slip between
the carefully worded impersonations
to impress
to pacify
to make you proud.
You once said,
in a matter-of-fact way
that everyone wishes to please
their parents.
So easily,
you again set aside
the one goal
that will cost me my life.

She is such a pretty picture -
capable
talented
open
accomplished
outgoing
and strong.

I am trying
to be her,
to keep your picture
real.
I will try
and I will die
to please you.
And when I do,
I will disappoint you,
anyway.

3


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Latest Comments

  • 8 years ago

    by CRAFTY KEN

    Wow, it takes real talent to rhyme what is a real picture of someone's walk in life with all it's realities, putting on different Masks for different purposes, hoping they don't see through them. The competition you show is often found in real life, someone you fear who may take the love of your life away.
    Great job Trampled Angel, Ken

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hi, I hope you are well. I have just seen this and thought it deserved to be read carefully.

    Seeing as you do
    ^
    Title does what it says - seeing the reflection, perhaps?

    I saw me
    in those moments,
    as you see me.
    Who is she?
    Even I
    did not know
    I masquerade so well.
    You know so little,
    so little of me.
    Should I say?
    Should I tell?
    I think not.
    ^
    Firstly, I like the punchy short lines. It offers the reader an easy format to read from and helps the message be discovered. Well, lets, see if this it true?
    This verse, this word specifically, 'masquerade' reminds me of a song, 'Tears of a clown' If you have not heard this I suggest you do. Anyway, a person pretending to be what others want to see, sometimes what they need to see.

    You know
    as much as you wish to.
    You listen
    as much as you want to.
    ^
    I like this rhythm, it feels like a rant and a justified one at that.

    Distancing
    the most painful parts of me.
    Disdaining (correct spelling)
    what you don't understand.
    ^
    Often pain, our pain is too much for others to touch. Why? Well, it can remind us of our own pain that lies just beneath the carpet, buried, but, not forgotten.

    Dismissing,
    what does not fit.
    ^
    The word dismissing is great. It signifies power, authority, teacher like.

    Choosing
    your understanding
    of the world,
    of my life,
    over and above my own,
    always.
    ^
    I can feel the plea, asking to be given the platform, the chance to open up and reveal the real 'me'.

    You say
    I am too young,
    I do not know
    the truth your wisdom brings.
    My struggles will pass,
    with reliance on God,
    and the passage of time.
    ^
    This part is sad. A surrender to the an unmovable force. A realization that time needs to pass to heal.

    You value the mask,
    over the pieces of honesty
    I slip between
    the carefully worded impersonations
    ^
    Pieces of honesty. These two words, for me, say, I will attempt to reveal myself in short bursts in order to be true to oneself in some small way.

    to impress
    to pacify
    to make you proud.
    You once said,
    in a matter-of-fact way
    that everyone wishes to please
    their parents.
    So easily,
    you again set aside
    the one goal
    that will cost me my life.
    ^
    So true, to please the people who we first relied on is important and yet so stifling.

    She is such a pretty picture -
    capable
    talented
    open
    accomplished
    outgoing
    and strong.
    ^
    High expectations indeed.

    I am trying
    to be her,
    to keep your picture
    real.
    I will try
    and I will die
    to please you.
    And when I do,
    I will disappoint you,
    anyway.
    ^
    The effort of pretense brings death and is rewarded with the ominous nod of glowering disapproval as the coffin is lowered into the dark, cold soil.

    I enjoyed this and it made me think about a younger me. Be true to yourself no matter what. If you cannot love you how can anyone else?

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 8 years ago

      by Once an Angel

      Thank you, Michael, for such a thought out comment. I appreciated the things you had to say, and the spelling error you corrected. :)