My brother.. in jail. How to deal?
author: Rozzy
status: member
date: 2008.08.12 15:55



[ post answer ]
I can't say why, my parents tell me i really need to be careful with what i say on the phone and what i talk about online since it happened.
But that's not the issue... I don't know how to cope..
I don't know how long he will be there, my dad went to court today with him and they said 15 days till his next day for court. Everything is totally different here when it comes to crime (Jordan), I have friends that have been in his situation and they were out, they said, not more than 2 weeks.
Everyone is freaking out... my moms been crying, my dad is devastated, and I think I'm still a little bit still in shock. I'm still angry with how the 'police' harassed us, I'm scared for my brother with what they'll do to him to get info out of him, I'm scared what other people are saying for a different charge to be pressed against him and he could get 7 years. But they have no solid evidence.
I'm just worried and overwhelmed, I never know what to say to my parents how to comfort them.
I just want my brother back... I just want him home with us where he belongs.
I have never been in this situation, it has never happened to a close friend of mine, maybe their friend or one of their family members. But not me.
I guess what I'm asking is how can i deal with this? How can i help my parents deal with this?

author: Beautiful Chaos
status: member
date: 2008.08.12 17:44



[ post answer ]
Without knowing any details no one can really comment on your brother, law in Jordan is obviously going to be a lot different than here in North America.

^^As they said, all you can do is wait and have faith that everything is going to work out the way it should. No parent wants to see their child get in trouble, just try to be positive and reassuring.

author: Rozzy
status: member
date: 2008.08.13 10:48



[ post answer ]
Thank you. It's just hard not knowing when this will all end, not knowing when he's going to come home, not knowing how exactly this is going to affect us all in the end. Basically hard to not know anything at all.
My parents need me to be there for them, I always come up with a solution with advice anything at all. I don't cry in front of them, I'm being supportive, but not having any answers to what the hell is going on in court or what they've found to help him or what can't help him. It's difficult.
But you're all right, there's nothing I can do but wait it out and be as supportive as possible.
Thanks again.

author: Dark Secrets
status: member
date: 2008.08.13 13:42



[ post answer ]
If ur brother is guilty than you have to brace yourself for what's to come, you can visit him to make him feel better and show your support to him and help your parents through their emotions and try to understand their consern.
If it's just a misunderstanding then you could try to find some evedence to help him and follow the case with a lawyer or something.
The most important thing u need to do is pray for him and keep your faith to his side, if he has done wrong then hope he finds the right path and the strength to go through jail, if he is innocent then pray he gets out of this problem.

author: kristen
status: member
date: 2008.08.14 15:53



[ post answer ]
Well ..if it's any comfort at all to you..maybe this is your brothers breaking point..maybe he'll learn something that will change his life forever . I used to worry about my brothers..but one night I was at this thing with my youth group..and a guy who was on her dance/drama team I guess you would say..he stepped up and shared a testimony..and since that night I have never worried about my brothers..because this man Had went to jail..and he was supposed to serve 50 years..there were bible studies in the prison and he would always read the bible trying to find stuff to prove them wrong..well one night he just had his whole life's burdens fall on his chest he said it felt like..and he gave his life to the lord in a prison cell..but he would go back to his old ways everyday..the only difference was he would pray at night and read the bible..one night he got into a fight with some inmates..his eye swelled twice it's size. the next morning..he said it was healed..and he was so excited when he was giving the testimony..I just broke into tears because there was some kind of peace about my brothers that I had..I just knew they would be okay..and then the guy finished his story..but somehow he got out in a few months instead of 50 years..and now he's married and has a child and he's karen wheaton's son in law and he's living and free from that prison and he's the best dancer on her team if you ask me..but yeah..I guess that story just comforted me when I was worried about my brothers..maybe it will help you a little.

author: Rozzy
status: member
date: 2008.08.14 16:26



[ post answer ]
Yes i do believe this will change him and his ways, he knew what he was doing. And now he knows that this has not only hurt himself. I know he will be okay, it's just hard not having the power to protect him even if he is.
My brother is guilty, but not for the 2nd charge they're trying to press against him. That scares me as well.
We're supposed to go see him tomorrow but now my parents are saying it's not a good idea for me to go. They don't want me to see him in there like that. And my brother thinks that I don't know and that I think he's on vacation with his friends. If i can't protect him I don't want him to feel like he can't protect me from this either. He's called his girl friend to tell her to watch out for me n be there for me and when his friend got out as well he told him the same thing. But i want to see him, I have to he's my brother.

author: Elissa morris
status: member
date: 2008.08.21 23:00



[ post answer ]
Im not sure if this thread is still in consideration but...

Darling i have been where you were or are..my brother committed an unspeakable crime and i was left with questions.. and i was compeltely terrifed and shocked.. the trial got dragged on for a year before he was finnaly sentenced and he got 5 years and is still in jail as we speak ..he gets out in march of 2009. since he has been in jail i have been to see him a total of three times in 4 + years..
if you want to talk about anything feel free to messgae me .. i have been through your situation to the T and am fully willing to give you some advice on how i handled it and got through it.. and how i am still coping with it today!

author: shellaine
status: member
date: 2008.10.10 15:32



[ post answer ]
Well my1 brother was very hectically into drugs and had been arrested for various drug related charges numerous times. dealing, being in possession of etc... anyway he tragically passed away almost 2 months ago of an overdose but you need 2 be able 2 talk 2 someone about this, i am always here if you ever wanna speak about this, i personally found that it really helped a lot to speak to people who could understand my situation. take care

author: Rozzy
status: member
date: 2008.10.12 15:33



[ post answer ]
Hi again, i'm so grateful to your replys, i'm happy to say my brother is now home :) we're still going through some difficulties.. police watching our house, tapping our phones. I just can't wait till all the court crap is done with and i graduate and we can leave and start over. My brother is doing alright, i stay with him most nights n try to spend most my time with him to keep him from being depressed.
They did horrible things to him, and i'm not talking about his other cell mates. Things are handled differently here.. but that's all i'll say on that matter.
This experience i'm hoping brings us all a little closer, but i know it will only get worse before it can get better so i'm holding on for all of us.
Elissa, i'm sorry to hear about your brother, i'd like to know more about your situation and how you're coping.
Shellaine, i'm so sorry for your loss, my brother was slightly in the same situation. He went in for using and kept him there longer so that they could try to charge him for dealing. But they had no proof. It really tore our family up, i can't imagine what yours went through. we should talk soon, really. take care :)

author: shellaine
status: member
date: 2008.10.13 00:24



[ post answer ]
Oh wow that is great news. i am so happy for you. i know how it feels , i remember the first time my brother came home, well he had been so badly beaten and was so traumatized.

thank you so much for your condolences, i really appreciate them a lot. you know he will have his good and bad days. some days it will feel as if there is no point in trying but other days you will see such a big improvement. it just takes time!!!!


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