Comments : Will Give Love for a Cup

  • 8 years ago

    by Ingrid

    That bad, eh, Larry? ;0)

    I must admit, I also love a good cup of coffee, black and strong and preferably of freshly grinded beans. Starbucks now has beans from Kenya, and they have the loveliest taste.

    Nice one, made me smile!

  • 8 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Yes, Larry! Love this. Your voice and style in this made me smile. Great use of the word list and flow. Coffee = love right?

    :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Larry,

    I like my coffee strong, hot, black and straight for the unadulterated bean.

    You penned a good poem from the required list of words.

    Funny, I am drinking a cup right now! lol

    Take care,

    Michael

    • 8 years ago

      by Larry Chamberlin

      And I am drinking one while reading your comment.
      ;8-)

      Thanks, Michael

  • 8 years ago

    by Daisy if you do

    Truly an upbeat little daddy you have created in this challenge. Definitely gotta have my coffee. Your poem intrigues me as to wondering your intent with the direction your last stanza leads to an innuendo of the age old tale of a young man will love you if you "do something of favor". Seems you took it in a direction of older and wiser that your iust now comes from a bean rather than a woman. Lol gotta love it regardless of the intent. Awesome job and thank you for entering contest.

    • 8 years ago

      by Larry Chamberlin

      Lol, I actually got it from my kids. They constantly are saying things like "if you do this for me I'll love you forever."

      Great contest, Kay.

  • 8 years ago

    by BlueJay

    I think your piece is the first one in this contest to have been purely humorous, but then again you tend to write funny pieces quite often so maybe it was to be expected.

    Eh, anyway, I really love the humorous nature here, the last stanza especially. I like the rhyme scheme and the flow, but I feel like the last line of the first stanza doesn't quite do the trick. Everything else is so easy but that one seems to be a little more forced.

    Anyway, nicely penned overall, definitely a fun read :)

    • 8 years ago

      by Larry Chamberlin

      Thanks, Maddie. I'm glad you said that. I felt there was something wrong but could not put my finger on it.

      EDIT: Revised entire poem. Thanks for your input!

  • 8 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Much better flow, at least in my opinion. Nicely revised. :)

  • 8 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    Wow... loved this poem Larry!

    It describes the feeling of being a coffee lover very well. I like how you used the words you had to use... very creative!

    Good luck