Funny quotes about life

Friend: is there a way to have a hangover without drinking or doing drugs?
me: yea, it's called being pregnant..
friend: oh, crap...

*actual conv with my friend (who's a girl). thought it was funny*

by Svandyke ( F P C )
at 2009-10-14

rating: 5.0
votes: 6

Don't run into stop signs they slow you down in life

by VeinsofHate
at 2009-10-12

rating: 4.0
votes: 6

Don't run into stop signs they slow you down in life

by VeinsofHate
at 2009-10-03

rating: 4.0
votes: 4

Im not one of those freaks,
who write quotes about suicide.
because i dont know about you..
but I dont want to die.

by Jessica Nicole wood ( F )
at 2009-09-30

rating: 3.2
votes: 8

Remember when you went to sleep as a kid and mommy kissed you goodnight? Ever wonder if she just got done giving daddy a blow job? You do now.

by MelindaJoy ( F P C )
at 2009-09-28

rating: 3.8
votes: 12

_XX[Juust Remembeer If Thee Woorld Didnt Suuck... We'd All Fall Off]xx_

by Tiiffaanyy ( F C )
at 2009-09-28

rating: 5.0
votes: 4

I Come With My Own Background Music! <333

by Amanda Ghosties ( F )
at 2009-09-28

rating: 5.0
votes: 2

"Are you sleeping, on the job??"
"No, there's a bug in my eye, && I'm trying to suffocate it"

by Amanda Ghosties ( F )
at 2009-09-28

rating: 4.4
votes: 9

Who ever said that paper beats rock is a moron.next time i see some one i am going to throw a rock at them while they hold up a piece of paper for a shield.lolll

by bluehun ( F C )
at 2009-09-23

rating: 5.0
votes: 11

Sanity called, i hung up and blocked his number.

by Black Heart Still Beating ( F P )
at 2009-09-21

rating: 3.8
votes: 6