Funny quotes

I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and crap out a better conversation than you.

( )_( )
(='.'=)
(")-(") Arrivederci!

by Atomic ( F C D )
at 2005-06-21

rating: 5.0
votes: 20


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Be optimistic: everyone you hate will eventually die.

by Shauna ( F )
at 2008-03-17

rating: 5.0
votes: 19


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Boy: Why do you wear a bra it isnt like you have anything to fill it with!

Girl: You wear pants dont you?

by Daisy duke
at 2006-06-18

rating: 5.0
votes: 18


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I had a wet dream about you last night...I pee'd my self laughing when you fell of a cliff.

by the one ( P )
at 2006-10-14

rating: 5.0
votes: 18


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A guy showed me a picture n said "this is me when I was younger" Every picture is when you were younger. If he was like "this is a picture of me when Im older" Id be like "WTF? Whered you get that camera?!"

by modern*day*barbie ( F )
at 2007-11-18

rating: 5.0
votes: 18


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After a year of therapy my psychitrest said "well maybe life isn't for everyone"

by HeartBreakHeaven ( F P C )
at 2008-02-26

rating: 5.0
votes: 18


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ATTENTION!

The aliens are abducting
The hottest and sexiest people alive.

Don't worry,
You're safe..

I just want to tell you goodbye.

by Kristina ( F P C D )
at 2008-04-10

rating: 5.0
votes: 18


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If water were vodka
and i was a duck
i swim to the bottem and never come up
but waters not vodka
and im not a duck
so slid me a bottle and
shut the f**k up!!!!

:]

by xxbroken loverxx
at 2008-04-12

rating: 5.0
votes: 17


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Elementary School- "He started it!"

Middle School- "It was a dare!"

High School- "I was drunk."

by A Twist In My Story
at 2010-08-07

rating: 5.0
votes: 17


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After a year of therapy my psychiatrist told me "Well . . maybe life isn't for everyone after all."

by oNice ( F C )
at 2009-01-09

rating: 5.0
votes: 16


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