Sylvia A ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-02
Well done on this. I like the form you used, does give a sense of confusion with the shorter lines and change of subject. Good job.
DreamOfOlwin ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-03
I agree with Sylvia. Great format for this poem :) Very original... loved it! Well done.
Lady Nik ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-03
I like that you used loose sentences here. The diction was simple but that adds something to your piece. I like how easy each line flows into the next. Great work :) Nik