Beautiful Chaos ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-04
I never saw myself that way.
Truth be told
I picture me
As an amalgamation
An amalgamation of people
People I know
People I see
People I imagine
Sewn together haphazardly
^This was my favorite part of this great write, it made me stop and think for a moment about who I think I am and your description seemed fitting.
I really enjoyed this piece, great work.
GrammaConcept ( F P C )
at 2009-11-04
And also, an amalgam ......'-)
Indeed, the macrocosm is in the microcosm..
separate yet unified...
Apparently a paradox..but then again,
perhaps not...
You are, so sweetly and authentically, so
sincerely, unveiling some
Very Important Mysteries here...
I cheer you on..
Ingrid ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-05
For starters, Megan, the fact that you are able to see this all so clearly sets you apart from others.
A short while ago I made a poem about Socrates, and the one thing that made him the wisest person in his time was that he knew he knew nothing. A lot of people go through life with an unclear view, or tell themselves lies on purpose, hiding behind a socially acceptable mask.
It is clear form your words you do not intend to do that. It takes courage and intelligence to question yourself and your place in all this, but you have to remember that only the ones who dared and saw the need ( crucial) to do so have been the ones who changed the course of history.
it was so nice to read you again, clever cookie!
God bless,
5/5 Ignrid
Rainbow Dreaming ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-05
I really loved this concept. It's true I think we find it hard to see ourselves as anything but ordinary. I loved the tone and the way it evokes thought when reading it.
You penned this with perfection . Great job.
Spirit ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-05
What audience are you writing to? If it is towards younger people than you might want to change your work for the younger audience. Otherwise keep it the way that it is. I really injoyed the piece and it reminded me of some of my friends writings.
I may not have got the fuul meaning behind your poem but still it spoke to me. I look foward to your comments and I hope you don't hold back.
Lucas Lorenzo The SpanishMystic ( F C D )
at 2009-11-11
The most important word is "amalgamation" such a voluptuous word that speak so many volumes, the ideal of many people intermingled with a variation of uniqueness. But ah, there's you, that special someone, one of a kind, a specific individual, one of those important factors of a common thought and process, a univerial patchwork interwoven by some fantastic machine.
The poem reflects what we all strive to achieve (to be someone in this complex variable world.) (when they are already someone.) The ideal relation that you the author expresses, of your self-consciousness and awareness of who you are, the acceptence and love for yourself, to bathe in your own glory and radiate within this variation of human patchwork is what we all can relate as different individuals in this state of mutability.
And pardon me madam if my comment sounded like a rave, but I found no fault in your poem, just the ideal relation we all share in common.
Ray Smallshaw ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-11
I really enjoyed your concept of yourself and the world around you. It brought back so many memories of my youth and the opening of my mind to so many new ideas. At your age many people don't take the time out to stop and look at what or where their at as they are to busy studying or getting started in a new job, and you realised what other people think of you is not what counts in the long run we are our own worst critics and the old song learning to love yourself is the greatest gift. Then learning to live with ones self follows no easy task if you are critical. A mite long but enjoyable Ray S 5/5
forevertobeart ( D )
at 2009-11-11
I love the last stanza, how you realize you're no different than the people who surround you, but are proud of who you are regardless. A lovely out-of-the-box concept, something I have enjoyed reading. My only suggestion is on punctuation. I know there are some readers who don't care about it, and there are some who can't stand the lack of it. In my opinion, it might read easier if you added more punctuation. Other than that, I liked it.
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