Comments - Hero's Daughter

Lioness ( F P C D ) at 2012-03-16

Tara, this is unblievably sweet and completely sad.

I feel so sorry for both the child and the father, to be away from each other would be the hardest thing. You have portrayed this really well. I love the innocence in the words and the child like manner. I love the way the poem would speak to a lot of people who are soilders and are leaving families behind to go to war.

I really hope she knows her Dad loves her too.

Simply beautiful, Tara.

x

Lebanese Phoenix ( F C D ) at 2012-03-16

He is a hero...... I love how you kept the ending an open one!
Amazing, and very true.

believeinlove87 ( F P C D ) at 2012-03-19

I so nominated this.

Wow....
such a heartfelt touching poem. Having so much love for her dad and knowing he will be back.

I love the way you ended this with the pray,

such a beautiful poem. so many children go through this, with their dad or mom being off at war in the military.

amazing! 5/5

Baby Rainbow ( F P C D ) at 2013-04-09

She told me today,
her Daddy's a hero...
as she held his wristband
to her tear stained cheek,

- very sweet image to open the poem with - a very young and innocent soul loving her father with admiration. In my opinion though - I would change the commas at the end of each stanza to full stops. So instead of trying to keep it flowing, break it up into small powerful stanzas of the single images you make.

she told me today,
her Daddy's a soldier...
as she gazed at the sun
with her sky blue eyes,

- this made me think what she was looking for with the sun? Perhaps it comforted her to know her daddy might see it too.

she told me today,
her Daddy's coming home...
That innocent look of
Belief and hope,

- That doesn't need a capital, neither does belief.

She told me today,
She loves her Daddy...
Because he's strong and brave,

- I don't think you need the ... here? And the first words on each line don't need to be capitals since you haven't done this through out the poem.

I only pray God keeps him safe
and let's this child know...

- let's =lets

Daddy loves her too.

- very touching ending, wishing for the same hope to give that child that she believes in. Sweet little story that is unfortunately very relevant today.

Nice job.


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