Comments : Addicted to starvation

  • 9 years ago

    by Lune de ma vie

    Idled hands extended
    to capture the remnants
    of humanity we seemed
    to offer, when did we
    forget we were equal?

    Yes! Again you pulled me in right from the start, the question you ask here leaves the reader to truly ponder what have we become? Where is this world going? You nailed it on the head right here. Ending it with a question makes this opening stanza really profound and stick out.

    Their eyes kept asking
    questions we would
    falter to answer, but
    they smiled instead
    verging the side of
    laughter.

    Beautiful rhyming here, love the description and words. It makes me feel and think that the questions we're asking about how can we come together are not taken seriously. That the ones who don't want to unite seem systematically unable to understand what really is important. But the ones who understand will rise above the uncaring and prove we can unite.

    They would share
    the warmth of a hug
    with their little tiny
    bodies, a gesture
    of kindness that
    most of us don't
    even embody.

    Lovely, puts a smile on my face. I see the people of the world uniting in a hug to embrace each other and help one another. The truth and sadness in your stanza is that most of us don't embrace in a hug or any kind of lovely gesture and it truly is what the world needs most now, well done placing that message in there.

    Shame on us for
    wasting time, when
    we can unite to end
    this crime. Let us
    walk in their shoes
    and give them ours.
    How many days can
    we stand it; or should
    I say how many hours.

    Powerful! We're all sitting around doing nothing, worried about our own affairs and not seeing the bigger picture. Sure we all have hardships but in a world full of hurt we must seize the day and help the ones we need to help. Shame on me even for not putting more of my time into helping the ones who need it most. You really put the reader in their place to make them see the world in a bigger light, to see what exactly needs to be done to stop the fathom, violence, and hurt.

    We take little things
    for granted, misuse
    and abuse everything
    we are handed. While
    we are indulged in more
    than what we deserve,
    have we stopped to think
    what little they have to
    even conserve?

    This poem is a statement, a write that needs to be read by everyone. An insight into what is going on within society and how needs to be done; us come together, to be united. You illustrated true meaning and expressed raw emotion throughout this poem. Keep it up!

    • 9 years ago

      by Meme

      Your comments are amazing! I am glad that you read it and that you too agree that we need to do something, we must actually.