Comments : World Peace

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Good message for world peace. There is a soothing
    calm effect in this write which makes it nice to read.
    It will be even more nicer with some punctuation so
    that it will sound even better.

    For example:

    Let us
    Arise!

    ^^At first I thought a coma would be fine but
    with an exclamation mark added it will give strength
    to the voice/message.

    Take action for world peace,

    ^^I feel this line stands out on its own with the intending message.

    Believe in the
    Inter connected-ness of life,

    Mystic bond of eternity...

    ^^Here too I feel there is a spiritual linking
    which you want to get across to the readers so
    that is why I felt the dots will work

    Sharing the same life span
    On this planet,
    Spreading love to all
    We meet.

    So it will be like this:

    Let us
    Arise!

    Take action for world peace.

    Believe in the
    inter-connected-ness of life,

    Mystic bond of eternity...

    Sharing the same life span
    on this planet,
    Spreading love to all
    We meet.

    All in all I like the write and I hope you don't mind me pointing out the changes. Keep penning and sorry for the delayed comment!

    • 9 years ago

      by alka mendiratta

      Meena,thank you for the changes.Learning so much more .
      Also thank you for liking the message conveyed .

  • 9 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Love is what matters. Thank you for this poem Alka.

    • 9 years ago

      by alka mendiratta

      Lucero,the message is well taken .Our efforts will make ripples and finally waves,on which the ship of peace will sail.

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Hello Alka

    This is a sentiment I wholeheartedly agree with; wouldn't it be nice if everyone else did too?

    Well done and all the best,

    Ben

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Brilliant.