Comments : He who has does hurt

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Such a beautiful write-so sad. Keep the faith, it's all we can do-

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Shanky, I like this as always you say so much in such a short piece and fill it with your utmost rawest of emotions.

    Tear broken down
    to painful memories,
    ^^
    I like this opening because tests can be she'd but the memories whether good or bad of a person will stay forever. I think there should be an 's' on tear.

    smiles a shield
    to speaking out what is on our mind.
    ^^
    The imagery here is lovely of shielding yourself with a smile to stop yourself from speaking your mind. If only, people did this more often then the world would be a better place but I suppose opinion matters.

    Your heart is bruised
    and so is my soul if I have any.
    ^^
    The doubt here is very plausible about having a bruised soul, if you have any because we all get bruised some way.

    The sun,
    the moon,
    and the stars ceased to shine upon us with the broken faith,
    worried will never enjoy peace.
    ^^
    A very serene ending of the light shining out their faith possibly to help that person bruised heart and your bruised soul and so that you cam enjoy peace. Love the imagery here. I think after worried you should write I or we will never enjoy peace.

    Beautiful write again.

    Em

    • 7 years ago

      by DarkLight

      I meant TEAR,
      The last, "Worried will never enjoy peace" i was referring to The Sun The Moon and the stars

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Makes sense now