Comments : The Streets

  • 7 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    Below is the poem with grammatical and spelling corrections:

    You see a failure as you look at me
    and I see hope being crushed.
    This exchange might only be a moment,
    but moments are all children have here.

    Should I ask for money?
    My stomach's rumbling
    Could you hear it from here?
    I question myself as you walk away...

    I tell myself next time I'll find the courage,
    if not money then food?
    But fear still adamantly stands
    on the doorstep of my mind.

    'What if I get taken away?
    What if they don't believe me...
    ... they take away my brother...
    ... they just say I'm on drugs..'

    As another comes closer to me I
    eventually come to my conclusion:
    starving is safer than approaching you
    and fear is king on the streets.

    A haunting write, well-deserving its nomination. Good luck, and keep writing!

    5/5
    IdTakeABulletForYou

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Brookie, strong write. Being on the streets has got to be so hard, being a child on the streets even more so. You did a wonderful job putting a face on those fears. Awesome!

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Brookie, this is truly beautiful yet so sad because it's happening all too often to those poor children, who cannot defend themselves and it's no doubt a truthful piece how they feel living there.
    All the best, Em

  • 7 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    This write here is close to home. Living on the streets is no joke but it makes you much stronger. I had t learn to let my pride go and finally ask for help. There are so many circumstances that can lead to living in the streets, sadly people will assume the worst. Stay strong and hold on to faith. Hugs

  • 7 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment

    This poem is the heart and devastation for a person on the streets!

    What a powerful and well written piece by Brookie this week! I was blown away!

    This poem takes you in the heart of a lost soul who just needs to be comforted and yet that fear brings them down to the point of darkness.

    just a touching and powerful poem!