Comments : Old Tree

  • 18 years ago

    by Jacklyn

    This poem is very creative and different. i like that about it the best. it reminds me of the story by Shel Silverstine (i don't think i spelt his name right) and his book "The Giving Tree" i loved that story but haven't read it in ages! i use to have a tree that i loved but it was hit by lightening so we had to have to removed from our yard. wonderful write and sorry it took me a while to get to it.

    ~Jacklyn

  • 18 years ago

    by HOLLY ARMER

    Wonderful poem! It's so nostalgic and peaceful. I especially like these lines:

    "I'd lie underneath its shade
    dreaming about love and forever
    the world around me lay forgotten
    just for a minute, time was mine"

    My only suggestion is in this line:

    "that's where that old swing hangs"

    Using the word that twice within this line makes it very repititious. You could say "that's where the old swing hangs".
    Keep it up~Holly

  • 18 years ago

    by Shædow Poet

    "Its been standing there for years"
    "its" should be "it's".
    same with:
    "Its where I find my strength again"
    and
    "its pretty weak now"

    I enjoyed it, otherwise. A bit shaky in bits, but that's because of how you've worded it... yet, I suppose, you've used your poetic license ;-)
    I loved the last stanza the best, it was very nice... very flowing, and summed up the poem well.

  • 18 years ago

    by dandy

    I really like this poem a lot; Sounds like a great place to be....

    "dreaming about love and forever
    the world around me lay forgotten
    just for a minute, time was mine"

    That's my favorite part, those three lines are beautiful right there. Awesome piece!

    ~dandy~

  • 18 years ago

    by Steven Beesley

    JJ,

    Such a peaceful and serene poem. Very meaniful and deep, it has made me think alot about my past. Very inspirational piece of writing. Excellent work.

    Warmest regards,

    Steve

  • 18 years ago

    by Shelby Bridges

    Pieceful and beautiful,,,,I loved every
    line....Keep writing..........5/5

    Shelby

  • 18 years ago

    by ~@ngel Whisperer~

    Beautiful piece. Your writing is timeless...could it be we have an old soul on our hands? Keep writing...this is a wonderful talent...God bless

  • 18 years ago

    by sarah

    Its like a childs dream place mixed with youth feelings. i used to write about this old tree in my grandmothers yard.. i don't think i posted any of those poems. well she had that old tree cut down :[ and out of all the trees in my yard only the one in my grandmas yard was worth expressing. great descriptions!
    always, sarah

  • 18 years ago

    by lisa marie

    This poem had really good imagery. a very calm and pretty piece. well done my friend.