Submission date : 2009-01-21
Italian Stallion ( F P C D )
Interesting write, I enjoyed the read. It's funny how some say 13 is a bad number or how friday the 13th is supersitious. It just so happens that 13 is one of my lucky numbers and friday the 13th is one of my luckiest days unlike many others. Overall a wonderful write which I enjoyed. I would have liked to see some more punctuation however since it adds to the overall flow.
Keep up the great work.
Beautiful Disaster ( F C )
This poem was unlike anything I've ever read.
i liked how you used your knowledge and expressed it in this form.
i enjoyed reading this
Nik ( F P C D )
Again let me be a bit humoristic
Since I'm in love with mathematics
For those who calculates well,
Come let me play with your head
*This part was my favorite. I really liked how you wrote this. The tone was so playful and relaxed. I like the imagery and the metaphors you used as well. I think you did a good job with the style and the flow was different but effective for what you were saying. I also like the idea of the whole poem too. Very creative. Keep it up. Nik*
Kaila ( F P C D )
Wow well I definitly learned a lot from this poem. I liked how informative it was. It was a fresh new spin on a poem. Although I felt it might have been a tad too much to take in, it was good none the less. Please keep writing like this you will not only learn but so will your readers. 5/5
Gasttlee ( F P C D )
"Ends with a 3 that reminds me of the trinity
A belief that kept within
All good things comes in double,
You're not alone just behind 1
Together you became 13 an age in certain
Tradition when a boy became a man"
Overall your message was beautifully put especially the metaphors, but these lines really stuck the most to me. It's like writing the journey of a youngling reaching adulthood. 5/5