Clouded Sights (Senryu)

I so much admire how you pass across mature, profound messages through your short poems. You're the master of brevity. One can count the number of people whom stick to using brevity in expressing their thoughts poetically. Their isn't anyone out there who uses other forms of poetry in writing excellently, than you. I doff my hats for you.

You're worthy of emulating. This is the sort of talent and people youths should be emulating. Not celebs that keep going in and out of rehab, serving jail-terms due to negligence while driving or drunk or some atrocious vice they inhabit.

I understood your usage of "raindrops" to represent tears. Wonderfully incorporated. And the "burn" depicts how tears smears ones strength snd disposition.You get demoralized and feel hopeless, thus, at the verge of despairing into your shell. In as much as this is a sad piece about how life's uncertainties causes certain setbacks. Nevertheless, I see a ray of light at the end of the abyss. That I find promising. With that, you pick up the pieces of your life and move on.

Trials and tribulation are bound to grow in ones backyard. Wether self-inflicted, under duress, negligence or perhaps when you fall a victim to someone's mischief. We can't escaped either of those options. However, if you live a purposeful life. Any predicament that may ensue, will be a lesson. Your faith will be strengthened and life goes on.

No one said it'll always be rosy. We should always expect the sunny and harsh weathers. We need to balance the good moments with the bad ones. So as to appreciate life more and accept any vicious circle we're caught up in.
Penned beautifully.
I love it!

This is such a beautiful poem Meme,

The idea here to use the raindrops for the tears, is cliché in one sense, but the way you have been so creative has made this poem so unique indeed.

I adore the imagery here. I get that picture of someone crying, dwelling with the pain and misery which life has brought them, and yet you give the uplifting message of life must go on, it must get better and keep on going, no matter how much we want it to stop sometimes.

It is quite a deep poem, in the sense that all feel this way, and all get caught up in our emotions, and yet we know the next day will still come, even if we waste the present day.

It reminds me of the saying " better to laugh than to cry" I constantly think about this saying and what it means, because I like to think laughter is better than crying, but then the saying is trying to discourage people from crying, which I think is wrong because it is always ok to cry. But like you say in your poem, dry the tears because life does go on.

I think there is one small change you could make, in the first and second line you have the word "the", I think you could drop one of these by changing the word before. Example, Collecting instead of collect the. Just an example to show what you could play around with.

I really love this little poem Meme, I feel so connected to it right now. Great title choice too! xx

Dear Meme, Every time I read one of your poems I am always blown away. You are the short poem writer I wish I was :). I enjoyed the title because it goes well with the poem. There is always a hint of sadness to this. At least for me. I believe the title means that while this person cries their rain (tears) their negative thoughts cloud them from showing someone who they really are. This person is young and as been through a lot in such a short time. The imagery is stunning and the wording is immense in it's depth. Beautiful write