Do you often wonder how things could be and how u should of made sure u were in control.
let me tell u a story, that conflicts. depression is how it was
although it was anxiety that i sort help for.. before i knew it i was on this rollercoaster of a trip that never ended. other people were in control of me and how i acted in some parts.
i was not in the right frame of mind to conduct my actions, but i did it anyways n hurt someone that i loved. i thought i was ok and yeah , maybe not, but my issues caught up with me and i have paid for it bigtime.
i removed myself from everyone only to be left with my self.. i hurt and hurt some more. i wanted to leave this world as i felt i never fitted in. i see the world so different than nearly everyone. i don't feel much different now i am taking no medication, than i was while taking it..
reason being is still unknown, words flow towards me and i hold back. i dont want another break up or to fail once again. i have to keep myself safe from harm, retain some aspect of my self. i am not going to give it all, so please don't ask me
. time is a healer so they say, but it's given me time to think. yeah i can be weak at times. i know this and i act n say things thats just the way the situation is for that time. it's so hard holding back and saying nothing, but i don't want the drama. i have had enough of that. i would rather disappear and i do that. come back to world when i feel ready and it's safe for me to do so. i dont need to be pushed nor bigged up. inside me is a very fragile person. i need that trust and comfort. i have a few people that believe in me, at times that can be enough but i need to pop this bubble that i am in.. set free this lost soul so i can fit back in with reality.
