If love was bottled

by Darren   Aug 20, 2014


If love could be bottled would you fill a bath,
then drown in it?
Just to feel it course through you lungs,
because emptiness has taken control of your heart.

If hate was canned, would you starve yourself?
Just to avoid the conflict that parties in your mind
those demons that use your brain as a bed
just to bounce up and down mockingly.

Why does everybody seem to be looking at me?
Do I look different in the day?
Is there a word emblazoned on my head that so offends?
(you have no choice to stop and stare.)

Should I stop writing my name in puddles
using a finger that has felt nothing for so long.
Moving the water in circles so that my reflection distorts,
is that how you all see me?

I am told that climbing a mountain,
Is not about reaching the summit,
It is about the journey, the hard graft.

But me?

When I am at the top, looking down on the world
I just think to myself,
'How the hell am I going to get down?'

(rewritten)

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by gumshuda

    Wow a beautiful poem
    The ending especially is amazing....

    When I am at the top, looking down on the world
    I just think to myself,
    'How the hell am I going to get down?'

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    WOW!

    Title: Interpreted in so many ways again. With love sometimes you do bottle up feelings and such, to not have to go through hurt again.

    First- The first stanza is lovely. It really does create an image of loneliness. And it really sets up what I said before. If love is truly bottled up, then what emotions are left? Sadness or negative, so the whole stanza works very well for me. Because of your wordplay.

    Second- Love the wording here too and it does go very well with the first stanza, almost enhances it. Demons take over your mind and your thoughts seems to race in circles, never stopping. It's a terrible feeling that only gets worse in time. Love the first sentence as well. Most people do not do well with conflict, so they in turn stuff their feelings to make them not feel worse.

    Third- the feelings are paranoia, where it feels like everyone is watching and judging you, but there is nothing you can do about it. Love the forehead line, it really does feel that way a lot of times. Where you just want to sink in a hole to get away from the world and people in it.

    Fourth- The imagery here is well. The reflection, another enemy of depression (or friend) depends on how you look at it. Of lten we feel faded or invisible to the world. That's what I see here. You feel trapped or lost not noticed by the ones you love. This works well because of the connection it holds.

    Fifth-Ending- Life really is about the journey and climbing up to the top. It may take awhile but it's worth it. I loved what you did here though, you took the pessimist point of view. How will you get down? Who knows. Haha. But overall this is a great write!

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