Comments - Who Needs Pictures?

Luanne ( F P C D ) at 2009-04-12

But please..
Don't draw me falsified;
For it's easier to have never known me
than to know me for years
Without picturing who
I really am.
^^^
Neeeeeeeeee I love this ending !!!!

I see you are trying out some new words and expanding your vocabulary. I am sooooooo proud of you for that. I wish I could do the same, as big words seem to frighten me. So perhaps that can be my challenge for April.

You have done an excellent job with your title !


You should be very proud of this write hun .... you have penned a wonderful piece !!!!!!

Lulu

T e m p s ( F P C D ) at 2009-04-12

"Betwixt reality and delusion
lie faces in black and white,
a portrait of the old times
Where the souls stand still;
Carefree."
`I love your beginning, it already ties in with the title, and I loved your word choice of 'betwixt' youve laready painted some vivid imagery into the readers mind.. with the description of these black and white faces and how these people stand still and are carefree. very descriptive.

"It happened once-
When time was anonymous
And the memories we held
in frames
were innumerable"
`Your word choice is great and holds a lot of meaning. Memories are definatly never ending they come in infinite amounts and never end. Well done with taking a dull word like "inifinite" and bringing it to life.. I loved your word choice of innumerable. :]

"Today you put me in a frame
surrounded by crippled borders,
though colors shine like
a rainbow after winter rain,
You made smiles shrivel
in a hoax of dun reminiscences,
Done by the snap of your
narrow mind"
`WOW! This could just be the strongest stanza so far. VERY well written, i'm in awe of this. Your imagery is fantastic! - [surrounded by crippled borders, though colors shine like a rainbow after winter rain - great simile and imagery!] love dun reminiscences - definatly some great vocabulary in this piece without a doubt.

"Draw me diaphanous,
next time you try to
comprehend me
Draw me disrupted-
I don't care"
`diaphanous - great word choice, I just learned a new word haha. love the way you worded things here.

"
But please..
Don't draw me falsified;
For it's easier to have never known me
than to know me for years
Without picturing who
I really am."
`VERY powerful ending, I love how we can hear the readers voice and thoughts clearly int he last few stanzas.. great job!

5/5.
I would nominate this, but I dont have any votes left for this week! :x But, this is definatly worthy of a win - I hope you win!

Thanks for sharing.
5/5.

Temps
[Beyond a Poets Mind]





"

[ Praised by Lu | Approved by Italian Stallion ]

AblissfulDREAMER ( F C D ) at 2009-04-13

The title really caught my eye which made me eager to read the poem. :]

"Betwixt reality and delusion"
^ amazing opening line! It lures the reader in right off the bat and sweeps them off the fit...well it did to me haha.

"Where the souls stand still"
^Great alliteration with "souls" "stand" and "still" It sounded very poetic when I read it out loud and made the piece already stand out to me.

"When time was anonymous
And the memories we held
in frames"
^I'm loving the "`s" sound throughout this stanza. I loved how it sounded and flowed flawlessly off my tongue. Has to be my fave part of the poem so far!

"You made smiles shrivel
in a hoax of dun reminiscences,"
^ Ahh this was flawless! I dont know where to begin...it was constructed so beautifully and held such an immense amount of meaning. Great choice of words, not simple and not complex.

"Draw me disrupted"
^Wow. Thats all I can say Nema...wow. You said so much in so little words. I am blown away. LOVED IT!

AHHH I love the ending girl! Its filled with so much truth and power! I am amazed beyond words. You have taken me on a trip with your words and I dont want to get off because I am so satisfied. This has got to be one of the best endings I have seen in a while. People spend years in our presence but dont really know us. Gah what a piece filled with meaning.

Nema I am so glad I read this!
You will get my vote for sure. :]
WELL DONE!

*5/5*

Bliss. {Beyond a Poet's Mind.}

Princess Love ( F P C ) at 2009-04-17

WOW!!! No words to describe this. Speechless!!!
5/5

Rachel ( F P C D ) at 2009-04-26

^Betwixt reality and delusion
lie faces in black and white,
a portrait of the old times
Where the souls stand still;
Carefree.^

I really like this, a snapshot of a moment in time where memories may be different for the parties involved.

^Today you put me in a frame
surrounded by crippled borders,
though colors shine like
a rainbow after winter rain,
You made smiles shrivel
in a hoax of dun reminiscences,
Done by the snap of your
narrow mind^

Great job with the word choice and the imagery.
.............................................
^Draw me diaphanous,
next time you try to
comprehend me
Draw me disrupted-
I don't care^

Excellent word choice. very matter of fact, I love it!

^But please..
Don't draw me falsified;
For it's easier to have never known me
than to know me for years
Without picturing who
I really am.^

What a message here and a way to end this amazing piece! This is one that many can relate to. It is like 2 sides to every picture so to speak. Thought provoking. I think you did an excellent job!


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