Comments : Extreme Temperatures (Haiku)

  • 12 years ago

    by Decayed

    Haikus tickle at the very core of my feelings. so short, yet they know how to attract you. And this, I love it.. I love the contradiction between temperatures, without, and within. Great job.

  • 12 years ago

    by Ms Happiness

    Wow I truely like it, its one of the best Haikus I've ever read:) 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Karla

    Loved it Liz. Many people are never warm.

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenna Bella Oldridge

    This a really good Haiku. I liked how you were to the point. Haiku's can be hard to write because you want to connect with the reader but you only have a few lines in which to do so. In my opinion you did connect with the reader as you managed to be to the point and get down to the core of things.

    Excellent

    5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Melissa

    Such a cool little piece! Fabulous wording, and a message that oh so many can relate to. Great work!

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    My jaw just drop.
    I love reading haikus and this one was not the exception.

  • 12 years ago

    by Tara Kay

    I like the structural concept in a haiku, how they intice the reader in so few lines.

    I think the contradictory worked well,
    and thought this was a very good haiku,
    a task in itself to get a meaning across.

  • 12 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    Ah wonderful Haiku"s
    You did a great job with this one. Very original and interesting. Keep it up love your work

  • 12 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Knew someone like this, this is priceless

  • 12 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    Amazing and greatly done I loved it 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Meme

    Amazing and directly straight forward.

    Your heart; cold as ice
    ^^
    A metaphorical phrase that is often said to someone who has lost his sense of emotions, but you used it in your opening to convey a point.

    Your skin is hot like the sun
    ^^
    Cold from the inside, hot from the outside. What an image to draw on the reads minds. You start drawing an image, but then BOOM your last line comes.

    Still; you're never warm
    ^^
    What a contradictory thought, I loved it.
    Now I wonder why? This line made me think a lot, I love it when poems challenge my mind to think deep about them.

    Perfection in one piece Liz.

  • 12 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Oh I love, how you started this, your heart--cold as ice, what a beginning, striking oh girl!

    your skin, is hot like the sun... okay I do looovee this line, but If I were you, I'd play with the placement of the words to be less direct, like not to give the message from the begining of the line, but leave it till the end..

    this way:

    hot like the sun, is your skin

    it works both ways, but I love surprises haha..
    man, you have such a mind; loved how the character is not warm dspite of the temp of the body! you know sometimes when we refer to the temp of the sun, we may also take it as "burning"

    someone who has a heart, cold as ice, emotionless..with a burning attitude ! yet not with human feelings nor sympathy. Loves your work a lot.

    XXXX

  • 12 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow!! Amazing haiku!!! I love it!!!!

    I love how you started it with something so shocking, 'your heart as cold as ice' .. it immediately strikes me as the reader.

    And I like the oxymoron between hot and cold, how this person's skin is as hot as the sun... and how they are still not warm...

    One of the best haikus I've ever read! Great job!