Comments : Flares

  • 10 years ago

    by Narph

    This is beautiful. Very sad, but hopeful. Literally the only word I'm unclear on is onion... my assumption is that you're indicating crying. If so, I think it may be stronger to simply say "tears," if not, I'm curious as to what the backstory is that led to that word choice.

  • 10 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    My interpretation is that the onion signifies false tears.
    The paradox to me is that he asserts she will be unimportant in his final accounting ("an asterix on my epitaph") yet he wishes to remain important in her own life ("the photo album you can't let dust settle on").
    There is more to the story, and less to the disclaimer, than the poet would admit.

  • 10 years ago

    by Sincuna

    One word. Powerful.

    Especially loved the lines below.

    " I no longer need
    the onion in your eyes or
    the cordial you brewed in your heart,"

    and

    "I hope to forever be the photo album
    you can't let dust settle on and I will never forgive
    the words we whispered - the Chinese lanterns
    we fed to the night."

    The ending feels so personal, and as a reader I could easily imagine myself being there at that moment, and grabbing the emotion brought out by the speaker. Wonderful work.

  • 10 years ago

    by Britt

    Judging comments:

    This poem got points hands down for the imagery. Jam packed with descriptions I loved it. The only thing I didn't love was the use of crimson, only because the ties it has to cliche poetry on pnq. Other than that one word, this poem was full of beauty.