Comments : The Surrogate of You

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Judging comment:

    The idea of being a surrogate to this person is intriguing and fills me with curiosity. The only other times I have heard "surrogate" is in stories I have read on surrogate mothers. I like how easily your thoughts transition and flow, and how you separate certain lines to further highlight your doubt that you cannot keep living like this. Living so empty, living for another person but not for your own purpose. It's interesting to me how you mention earth and nature, the sun, stars, meteorites and how it's like this feeling cannot be explained. As if you were created by something far more mystical than one could imagine. Then, you transition to include a certain someone. There is a distinct yearning and almost dreamy want to experience love, not just hear about it, but to know you are here for a reason. I notice how you urge more and more for this person to be with you, to "shovel' with you, this snow that perhaps represents baggage in your life and burdens you wish to let go. I think the image at the end of the frosty driveway cleverly stresses how much you want to find an answer, not be alone, find another path, anything except the one you are "snowed in" at. Lovely write! (10)