TRANSITION

Judging Comment:

Metaphoric elegance, with beauty wrapped into the entire presentation of this piece.

Lively words take shape in this poem such as "Pregnant" tiny bird's feet" and gun smoke.

This poem made me take several different angles. Nature tones are evident and then to capture the fun wording, I was deciphering a transition of new birth of a love or child. Then it took a twist for me in the ending.

I adore poems that take me on a twist and turn of events. The visuals left me speechless as well. Transition of shadows and silence... just wow!

The title truly sets form and shape of this piece for me.. Just lovely!!

^ I noticed the lack of punctuation too, and if it was intentional, I think it was clever. It adds this raw beauty to it. Each line is well-placed.

Some stand out lines in this piece, like the idea of winter stinging your lungs, as well as the personification of the dark. The inclusion of the bird as well set this eerie tone. Like time will move on, the bird will sing its song. Something mystic about this write in my eyes. Something quite prosaic and soulful. This pause, this reality, you are struggling to move past. But time does not mold you two back together. There's also something peaceful to this piece? Like even though the wind dies down and night approaches, this part of you, this person, is now becoming your past. That last echo of a memory even.

I really liked it!

Yay. I saw you online earlier and was hoping you'd post something. Although, I hate that I'll never be able to leave decent comment on something so perfect. even the lack of punctuation, which I'm guessing was intentional, just seems to make it perfect. My favorite line was... The whole thing. :p