Missing moments of time

Hey N,

Love this Double Etheree, i've written a few in my time and i've found that once they're are finished they're almost as rewarding to write as they are to read, word choice and all the blah blah's are spot on and a subject I think many can relate to.

Awesome write!

N, this is amazing! Double etheree to boot. I agree, I think punctuation would have thrown the whole vibe of this off. Well done-

Contrary to what meena said, I think the lack of punctuation is important to this piece. It's a piece touching upon social embarrassment, a public panic attack that you're writing about in haste because of the pain it causes you to endure merely to recollect. I would suggest you go even further and take out all the period/ellipses between go and home, and lowercase home as well. I think it would be harder hitting. The spaces between the word makes the reader wonder what's special about home, and whether home was back to your house or apartment, or more ominous like suicide brought on by the embarrassment of the panic attack (irrational, but rationalizing is difficult during such periods of your body failing you).

Anyway, your word usage is magnificent and I was throroughly engrossed. Wonderful!

5/5
IdTakeABulletForYou

This is excellent!!

Em

A double etheree and a very good one.

To be honest, while I see Meena's view, it's one of those that, considering the subject matter, I believe works well as it is. The lack of punctuation adds to the frantic panic of the piece.

Anyway, it really is very good - Michael's workshop is already producing some great work, isn't it?

Take care, Naomi