Comments : Dawn to Dusk

  • 15 years ago

    by Prasad Baadkar

    Sumthing more to learn ..... n written in a amazing way..

    Keep it up... u r writes r too good..

    Best wishz... Karan

  • 15 years ago

    by eehcuhhhz

    The first line.
    Maybe you could change that to
    Crowing bird[s] greeting the first [rays]
    So it rhymes more with display.

    Hmm...
    Oh.
    I just realize this was in the nature section.

    I was trying to find a deeper meaning for it all.
    But I couldn't find one.
    I was thinking.
    This is just, well, discriptive poetry.

    Then I realize it was in the nature section.
    It all made sense after that :]

  • 15 years ago

    by Cindy

    Very nice poem. Beautiful word choices and imagery.
    Take Care Cindy

  • 15 years ago

    by Loved In Hell

    I liked it, its different but good and very beautiful words, it makes a great meaning. keep it up 5/5

    laura

  • 15 years ago

    by 4 track demo

    Very interesting write. i'n not a big fan of...whatever you wanna call it "super structured poems" but i felt you did a great job on this, the first four lines drew me in immediately..just awesome. ...i got a little lost in the middle but i thought the ending made up for it, all in all, a very solid, well crafted poem. great job...i don't like to criticize, it's not in my nature, i believe in letting the poet do his/her own thing and letting the reader take out of it what they get, but... the one thing i was wishing for in this, was just a little more emotion...but again, it's YOUR poem, not mine, and you did a kick ass job regardless!! good job!
    john

  • 15 years ago

    by ECILA ice

    For a newly attempt poem it was good.. i was actually trying to look for a deeper meaning but then it seems like there's none (correct me if i'm right). It was really nice piece that portrays a peaceful to picture of nature..

  • 15 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    It's an interesting write. I've never seen anyone attempt this style before, so I can't really judge with a lot of experience but from what I can tell, you did a pretty good job. It's not amazingly stunning, but then I don't typically hold nature poems to a high prestige. Considering the strict rules of this style of poem, you did amazing with creating the image of dawn to dusk with a nice choice of words.

    I don't know what else to say, but I wouldn't correct or change anything, really :)
    ..__MiNDYY

  • 15 years ago

    by Finalgravedigger

    I love how you attempt different styles, this poem was more like a painting to me which with each word you wrote a little more showed 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by staci

    Bit confusing, but that may be coz im a dumb blonde. but still good.
    take care .x.stace.x.

  • 15 years ago

    by Corinne

    This is very nice. Poems of nature always grab me, and you've done well both with rhyme and imagery

  • 15 years ago

    by BeautifulxMess

    First attempt and the first success.
    Well done. YOu have an amazing
    way with your words. Keep up the
    wonderful work.
    You are now one of my favorites.
    <3Tay
    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by NinjaGirl

    A very beautiful and touching piece of poetry. i liked the way you worded it and how it flowed so very wel together

    5/5

    Keep Writing, lovely
    As Always,
    ~NinjaGirl~

  • 15 years ago

    by Empathy

    For the format that you put it into, I thought it was a very intriguing read. I can tell that you put a lot of thought into this piece. Your imagery was great and your rhymes never seemed forced. Excellent work!

  • 12 years ago

    by yogi73

    Wow! this is a great poem. full of vision and meaning. It really captivated me. thanks!

  • 6 years ago

    by mossgirl19

    Formed poetry is really beautiful and this piece has just proven that...you really are great with these forms. This one is a visual treat! Beautiful and calming.