Ingrid ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-07
MaryAnne..this little verse is something you must have worked on really hard and it shows:)
Good work, girlie..
The setting sun sings me to sleep
until Mistress Moon brings hope to my keep.
^^
Beautiful words:)
God bless:)
5/5 Ingrid
Tom Swart ( F P C )
at 2009-11-07
I find this section where the poems of nature rest is still one of my favorites and you have not let me down. This was a very nice write with well chosen words and perfect thoughts. Nice nice nice!!! may you continue to find peace with your poems.
Nema ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-08
"The setting sun sings me to sleep
until Mistress Moon brings hope to my keep."
^
Love this couplet :) great work.
Well done with the poem. I'm not a fan of poems that talk about nature, but I didn't mind yours. It was great!
Write on~
Kiko ( F C )
at 2009-11-08
This is a pretty little verse you have penned with some nice imagery. The first stanza has the rhyming meter just right, (iambic pentameter -- 10 syllables) but, after that, the syllable count (and the flow) seem to go downhill.
The setting sun sings me to sleep
until Mistress Moon brings hope to my keep.
If you added a couple syllables to the first line, you can improve the flow greatly:
The old setting sun, now sings me to sleep
until Mistress Moon brings hope to my keep.
For a more professional sounding poem, try getting all the lines up to 10 syllables.
Courageous Dreamer ( F P C D )
at 2009-11-12
I really enjoyed the last two lines. Everything flowed really nicely & this was something different and original. Nice work, & it's definatly always interesting to see how you're inspired to write such pieces like these. Well done.
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