Comments : Sunset Soliton

  • 7 years ago

    by hiraeth

    Welp this is my second time writing this comment, the first one was much more in depth, but for the life of me I cannot recall everything that I wanted to point out in this poem.

    I remember the title of this being originally Solitude Solition, or something along those lines. This title evokes much more hope; the sunset sort of cascades through without being interrupted so its beauty is preserved and can be enjoyed by everyone.

    I know i use the phrases 'I really like/I really love' a lot. But I realllyyyyyyyyyy loveeeeeeeee the title. After reading this title, I got this instantaneous image of this ardent sunset stained with brilliant reds, oranges and yellow, with the sun trying to cocoon into the horizon and the sea is totally aware, of the beauty of it all, and how much it evokes hope, and reflects it all hoping it would be seen by everyone.

    The first stanza dismantles that image; it points out the speaker's uncomfortably with hope by their innate longing for the night (which one can in literature, it's the absence of hope as opposed to the presence of evil which is something that's articulated in a lot of Gothic literature).

    The second stanza reinforces that idea; these foreign celestial bodies that are so insanely far away still manage to tickle the speakers world with this faint drippings of hope and beauty. The last verse reaffirms the speakers unease with hope.

    The last stanza is beautiful, it's so serene and sincere. It strengthens the theme of solition that you knitted into this poem.

    I'm not sure if you do paint or anything, but this poem feels like it feels like an ekphrasis. If you do paint/draw/something, I'd really like to see something for this poem. (:

    There were more thoughts but this was the gist of it. Windows thought it was the perfect time to reboot.

    • 7 years ago

      by ether

      Haha I was hoping no one noticed the title change - posted it very late one night and revisited it the next morning and decided the title was off. i also changed the category but shhh, don't tell anyone.

      As always, your comments are so thorough and much appreciated <3

  • 7 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Mark has said it all, so all that is left for me to say is that this is beautiful.

    Ben

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    A lovely piece of writing. It felt like a dream silken sheet gently floating on a waiting wish.

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    This is just beautiful! I had to read this multiple times just to absorb it all. Congratulations on your win! Well done, well deserved.

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Well done Ether - a worthy win from you.

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Fabulous write. Definitely worthy of the front page.

  • 7 years ago

    by silvershoes

    Sitting outside reading this on my phone. Finished it, maid an audible "mm" sound (haha), and then looked up to the sky in wonder. Perfect poem for my mood.

  • 7 years ago

    by hiraeth

    Congratulations on the win! Well deserved. :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Augustus Black

    As I read this glorious write I got the feeling that you live in the arms of nature. How miraculously you have described the sunset, this is just quite brilliant. You have a great talent of understanding the nature and delivering forth on the paper in a fabulous poetic way. Congratulation of the great win.

  • 7 years ago

    by Phil

    How fabulous

  • 7 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Judging Comment:

    The imagery and scene setting in this piece is very well put together. There's a soft sense of voice and the emotional pull is almost buried under such simple language that it allows anyone in the audience to take this any way they want to. It is a calm piece that tells of transformation in a way and that really stands out because it was so well done in this write. Though the style here is interesting and a little bit distracting it adds to the piece in a lovely way. Great poem.