Comments : Desimate Everything I Am

  • 16 years ago

    by A Phoenyx in Flight

    Wow this poem is dark i love it 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by SCARECROW

    I particularly liked how you portrayed familiarity with pain, not just the pain itself but almost an acceptance of it. Well written, 5/5!

  • 16 years ago

    by Sarah

    This is a really good poem, great choice of words, emotional, and absolutely touching. Keep writing! 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Fake Facade

    Wow!
    really good poem.
    this is gna go on my fav poem list. ^^
    it was really emotional, and really just great.

  • 16 years ago

    by Kayla

    Tell me one more lie,
    Slap it in my face,
    Betray me one more time,
    Build up this disgrace.

    [ I thought this was a perfect way to start off a poem like this. You immediately feel the intensity of the entire thing, you know it's going to be about pain and hurt. Your words really do just slap you right in the face.]

    Break my heart into little pieces,
    Let my soul shatter once more,
    Say you love me just one last time,
    Before I go crashing through the floor.

    [ Over all, I would have to say this is my favorite stanza. I mean, it's so relateable, many people know what it feels like to have your heart shattered and broken into little pieces. I could picture it in my head as well, a life being crushed, falling into darkness. So creepy >.< But I loved it so much. ]

    Kill me with your lies,
    That I so desperately want to believe,
    Hold me close one final time,
    So it'll be harder when you leave.

    [ This stanza is also something many others will be able to relate to. The words you used, it was like a love hate situation. Killing with words, but yet you can tell that you loved this person anyways. I think you wrote this one perfectly. ]

    Call the tears back to my eyes,
    Make all my trust disappear,
    Let pain take me by the hand again,
    Welcome back the old familiar feeling of fear.

    [ Ooooo... this one right here gave me shivers. The vocabulary was so strong and very unique in it's own way. You could have used weak words, but you didn't. They were strong and you could tell you weren't playing around. It also brought me sadness though.. it's also a heart tugger stanza. ]

    Be sure to break me down so well,
    That there's no hope at all,
    For anyone to fix me this time,
    This will be the last time that I fall.

    [ Honestly, I believe this was a great way to wrap up the entire thing. More powerful words that really blows you away when you read it. So intense, so strong, so painfully wonderful. It was an amazing write. ]

    Kris, you did such an excellent job with this poem. I truly did enjoy reading it and am glad you are able to share it with the entire p&q community. There wasn't any problems with it, it had a smooth flow and definitely strong vocabulary. 5/5 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

    ~Kayla~

  • 15 years ago

    by Bare My Paradox

    Be sure to break me down so well,
    That there's no hope at all,
    For anyone to fix me this time,
    This will be the last time that I fall.

    ^^^^

    LOVE IT !!!! 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Nobody

    I love it you are so talented its os amzing how you can write like that keep up the gr8 work 5/5 <33 xxx

  • 15 years ago

    by S R P

    I loved it, truly amazing. You have talent.

  • 15 years ago

    by HillaryNicole

    Beautifully written with such a great flow and ability to tell emotions with such simple words