Comments : My Fictitious Perfect Valentines

  • 16 years ago

    by JustKristina

    Anothe wonderful write! The word choice you used was great!! I would change one thing though. the part where you say "My milk white wrists" i might change that to " My scarred white wrists" maybe.. i don't know, thats the only thing that i can come up with to change on this. so you know its good! Keep up the great work! :]

  • 16 years ago

    by Lizaveta

    I love this poem!
    Birds may sing so sweetly,
    And waves may lap the sand,
    But nothing can replace the way,
    I feel when you hold my hand. <-- this stanza is my fav, very beautiful

    i just have one question abt the first lines. you wrote it as irony on typical valenine day poems, didn't you? if so, it's a nice idea, but if u ask me i'd add something before that. i thought about that because this beginning made me feel kinda bored (until i read next lines of course)/ it's just a thought how to make the pom even more attractive. the rest is soo good, honey, and i'd never change a thing.
    The title is perfect
    and i like the ending of the poem
    good work anyway
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by TwistedAngel xx

    Wicked poem
    so friggin descriptive
    AWESOME
    5/5
    added to my fav poems 4 sure
    xx

  • 16 years ago

    by Darien

    I liked the rhymes in this poem, and you do it so freely, so easily. There are times however, where the flow is thrown off because the rhymes seemed force. It's still a good effort though.

    I liked how you brought in different images to depict what you were feeling. It gives a very broad perspective to the poem.