Earnest Heartways

by Larry Chamberlin   Feb 23, 2008


Part I - Defiant

My generation is known for our obsessing.
We obsessed over Vietnam & the masters of war;
Over racism, over watching the changes blowin' in;
We obsessed over the music decrying the hypocrisy.
Over social causes, inhumanities, demands for relevance.
We trained expectant guns of hope @ each of these,
Then we flamed - confrontation erupted like lava
And we melted down to Americajuanians.

Where did our fervor go? To battle? No.
It smoldered in our pipes & lit our meandering shuffle.
Perhaps we frightened too easy,
Seeing our heros all shot down;
Or we conned ourselves into hoping
Laws enacted & Courts' rules would change it all.

Whatever it was, we obsessively got stoned;
Jesus Freaks, 12-steppers & Adult-Children
Bailed out the plane to keep it afloat,
As we overworked anxiety bulletin boards.
We even obsessed over great minds lost in gutters,
Howling at the beaten sky, while we fiddled on;
Over Dharma Bums who died in ditches,
& we followed their rootless paths awhile.

But we shoved it all aside, became pretenders,
Lost our cares in weekend fever, just
Playing hard at staying alive,
While idols lay with our ideals.
Our homes burned with cancerous hearts,
And suicides stole our dreams - just like we lost theirs;
Left us stark enough to stand naked once
In our time, before charging the line.

Professionalism somehow pallored & became
No more than being in a profession,
And the legal status at the bar reduces
To washroom joke attendant.
Still we persisted, sweeping ahead
For our loose-ended principles
Lest they trouble someone else
By invading their space - or mine.

We focused on being unfocused:
'The bio-mechanism needs torquing'
So speed we ridiculed in Freaks
We popped down kiddies' gullets
To crock them awake
In their schoolhouse daze.
Money, power, greed, grab it quick!
Before the junk bonds drown your dreams
And they Kordan off the chalk-marked street.

Try to reflect on the best of times - & worst;
Stupid, or not, it isn't the gold, whether you keep it
Or let the 'wee' ones take it back.
Family man, scouts & cowboys,
Help the poor, this life can't be scolded -
Even in escape & denial kick out the jams & play in role . . .
To what . . . ? To change first, & then rethink?
To wield the mask, then weld our cuffs? & wither then?
'Fraid we're not that kind - or blind.

So we're left with our original obsession -
One we've never gotten past:
What can be, How we're not,
And what we risk in the between.

Part II - Synthesis

There's the ocean, mother sea;
Here's the earth, sister mine;
I who stalk the beach am he,
Who, brother urging, leaps into the sun.
And if we cross these hearthen limits -
Burn out the impurities in our soul
Are we 'merged past some moral event horizon
To infinitive substance? - serious stuff!

What qualifies me to advise
Friends or enemies with the truth?
Ultimate gall to pop these bubbles
Where aged children dreamed them up.
'Hanging? Why 'tis but a dance
for one - in midair'
So easily thrown, down the gauntlet falls,
So that in mirth we ignore the final rot in Earth.

'Doesn't kill us makes us stronger?'
Why? What battle lies beyond us?
Or does this lust for strife
But mask the extinction spirited end?
THAT moment - that last one:
That instant where you cease to be . . . ;
It's not the ultimate obsession, but it's close;
And needs no metaphor to dull the blade,
For like most pain, it's best
To take it in raw, sharp, scream.

'Passed under', 'Left the keys',
Don't discuss me with such crap.
If I'm dead, let me go
And surrender these lines for time
To erase as she always shall.
Don't expect to see me again,
Don't think I plan to find you there.
If we can't get it done in this time, love,
Maybe it wasn't worth doing.

Depressive, compulsive, obsessive, addictive,
Yeah, & if you like them,
I got fat, dumb & lazy, too.
No bell tolls for me nor soul to ring it.
So, with all this how am I still here?
Don't seek merciful spirits or fortune's favor
To throw your suppliant gold,
It just clogs the museum stiles.

Look to the earth - the green,
The newborn child so clear:
My children come to me as honey
Dripping into victims' anguished mouths,
Helps me ignore the sentence of death
By letting me obsess on life;
And, for this next generation,
To suspend my belief in disbelieving.

It is understood naught differs;
And this diversion, worthy as it is,
Cannot abate the time or place,
Or even commute my term to life.
But even so, I smile to the kids,
And hike up a chair to chat,
To learn, to teach, to smile,
And help them build their world.

And if I would choose a darker hue,
Or detail the underside,
It is their brighter pallet that redeems,
And returns the spring into my walk.
So I find that the plan I mapped,
Actually brought me to unlikely places;
For in letting children enter my world
I follow new paths only they could mark.

Wisdom in youth is life itself
Blocking the terrors from view;
I may start the fable for them,
But they live the happily after.

Larry Chamberlin, College Station 8 Oct 2002

0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Ste

    Absolutely splendid poem. Clear and evocative (for us old 'uns). The two parts could well be different poems but at the end the connection becomes obvious and uplifting.
    So much resonates with myself "Depressive, compulsive, obsessive, addictive,
    Yeah, & if you like them,
    I got fat, dumb & lazy, too." It could be a mantra for the middle aged man!
    This is the best adult poem I have read in years!

  • 12 years ago

    by nouriguess

    I guess if you tear this poem into two parts, it will look less eye-tiring.

    My generation is known for our obsessing.
    We obsessed over Vietnam & the masters of war;
    Over racism, over watching the changes blowin' in;
    We obsessed over the music decrying the hypocrisy.
    Over social causes, inhumanities, demands for relevance.
    We trained expectant guns of hope @ each of these,
    Then we flamed - confrontation erupted like lava
    And we melted down to Americajuanians.
    ^^^^
    wow....this speaks about the wars in Veitna??? I am so impressed! I loved this!! it talks about every war America has done, right???

    Where did our fervor go? To battle? No.
    ^^^
    good question!

    It smoldered in our pipes & lit our meandering shuffle.
    Perhaps we frightened too easy,
    Seeing our heros all shot down;
    Or we conned ourselves into hoping
    Laws enacted & Courts' rules would change it all.
    ^^^
    again I'd suggest to take of the & and write 'and' instead! :)

    Whatever it was, we obsessively got stoned;
    Jesus Freaks, 12-steppers & Adult-Children
    Bailed out the plane to keep it afloat,
    ^^^
    oh my gosh this made me shiver, Sir Larry! I so damn love it.

    As we overworked anxiety bulletin boards.
    We even obsessed over great minds lost in gutters,
    Howling at the beaten sky, while we fiddled on;
    Over Dharma Bums who died in ditches,
    & we followed their rootless paths awhile.
    ^^^
    haha can you believe that this piece holds LOTS of names that I have never heard of before, though I'm extremely interested in history and I know lots of history yet you let me know that I need years and years to be like you...:)

    But we shoved it all aside, became pretenders,
    Lost our cares in weekend fever, just
    Playing hard at staying alive,
    While idols lay with our ideals.
    Our homes burned with cancerous hearts,
    And suicides stole our dreams - just like we lost theirs;
    Left us stark enough to stand naked once
    In our time, before charging the line.
    ^^^
    I didn't know that you are agaisnt your government, Sir and if I am now mistaken then please forgive me because that is what I could grasp from your words..

    Professionalism somehow pallored & became
    No more than being in a profession,
    And the legal status at the bar reduces
    To washroom joke attendant.
    Still we persisted, sweeping ahead
    For our loose-ended principles
    Lest they trouble someone else
    By invading their space - or mine.
    ^^^
    the last three lines were OMG like really OMG!

    We focused on being unfocused:
    'The bio-mechanism needs torquing'
    So speed we ridiculed in Freaks
    We popped down kiddies' gullets
    To crock them awake
    In their schoolhouse daze.
    Money, power, greed, grab it quick!
    Before the junk bonds drown your dreams
    And they Kordan off the chalk-marked street.
    ^^^
    I didn't get the last line at all. Can you PM me telling what did you mean by it please?

    Try to reflect on the best of times - & worst;
    Stupid, or not, it isn't the gold, whether you keep it
    Or let the 'wee' ones take it back.
    Family man, scouts & cowboys,
    Help the poor, this life can't be scolded -
    Even in escape & denial kick out the jams & play in role . . .
    To what . . . ? To change first, & then rethink?
    To wield the mask, then weld our cuffs? & wither then?
    'Fraid we're not that kind - or blind.
    ^^^
    Aaaahhhhh
    now I got what you mean by this piece!!!
    how come I never passed by this before!!!?
    you should have told me about it, Sir, months ago! :) I liked it.

    So we're left with our original obsession -
    One we've never gotten past:
    What can be, How we're not,
    And what we risk in the between.
    ^^^
    I abso-freakin'-lutely LOVE this part the most!
    said SO SO SO SO much!

    -- -- -- -- --

    Part II - Synthesis

    There's the ocean, mother sea;
    Here's the earth, sister mine;
    I who stalk the beach am he,
    Who, brother urging, leaps into the sun.
    And if we cross these hearthen limits -
    Burn out the impurities in our soul
    Are we 'merged past some moral event horizon
    To infinitive substance? - serious stuff!
    ^^^
    you are talking about a different thing here, right???
    I'm not even sure if I'm understanding this right but I am guessing though...

    What qualifies me to advise
    Friends or enemies with the truth?
    ^^^
    amazing!!

    Ultimate gall to pop these bubbles
    Where aged children dreamed them up.
    'Hanging? Why 'tis but a dance
    for one - in midair'
    So easily thrown, down the gauntlet falls,
    So that in mirth we ignore the final rot in Earth.
    ^^^
    I swear that if this was new I would nominate and it would win! I swearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    perfection itself, Sir!

    'Doesn't kill us makes us stronger?'
    Why? What battle lies beyond us?
    Or does this lust for strife
    But mask the extinction spirited end?
    THAT moment - that last one:
    That instant where you cease to be . . . ;
    It's not the ultimate obsession, but it's close;
    And needs no metaphor to dull the blade,
    For like most pain, it's best
    To take it in raw, sharp, scream.
    ^^^
    HMMMMMM
    I got lost a little bit but after reading it once again, I could find how interesting this part was. It definitely draw me in!

    'Passed under', 'Left the keys',
    Don't discuss me with such crap.
    If I'm dead, let me go
    And surrender these lines for time
    To erase as she always shall.
    Don't expect to see me again,
    Don't think I plan to find you there.
    If we can't get it done in this time, love,
    Maybe it wasn't worth doing.
    ^^^
    OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
    OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
    OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
    what the helllllllll
    oh gosh!!!!

    Depressive, compulsive, obsessive, addictive,
    Yeah, & if you like them,
    I got fat, dumb & lazy, too.
    No bell tolls for me nor soul to ring it.
    So, with all this how am I still here?
    Don't seek merciful spirits or fortune's favor
    To throw your suppliant gold,
    It just clogs the museum stiles.
    ^^^
    the 6th and 7th lines were just totally amazing, I'm standing here with my 'wow' trying to say something because my comment is really I dunno but believe I've got no words to describe such a piece!

    My children come to me as honey
    Dripping into victims' anguished mouths,
    ^^^
    what a thought.......................
    what an imagination.....
    what an expression...
    what a write....
    what a poet you are!!!!

    It is understood naught differs;
    And this diversion, worthy as it is,
    Cannot abate the time or place,
    Or even commute my term to life.
    But even so, I smile to the kids,
    And hike up a chair to chat,
    To learn, to teach, to smile,
    And help them build their world.
    ^^^
    this kinda has a tone in its words...though it doesn't rhyme but I mean when I read it out loud I could feel how much the flow was smooth. :)

    And if I would choose a darker hue,
    Or detail the underside,
    It is their brighter pallet that redeems,
    And returns the spring into my walk.
    So I find that the plan I mapped,
    Actually brought me to unlikely places;
    For in letting children enter my world
    I follow new paths only they could mark.
    ^^^
    wisdom is dripping from your words, papa! :) <3

    Wisdom in youth is life itself
    Blocking the terrors from view;
    I may start the fable for them,
    But they live the happily after.
    ^^^
    thoug this was long but I swear I don't want it to end! I enjoyed reading it so so damn much and even if there is no deal LOL I would enjoy it :)
    Love and peace!

More Poems By Larry Chamberlin