Midnight Blue

Midnight blue, in the darkest hue.
Staring at the night sky,
Like I'm looking at you.
Nights like these,
I can see your eyes.

I hadn't cried,
Not in a while.
You wouldn't want me to,
So I fake a smile...

When I'd think of you,
You'd say be strong,
And somehow I held on.
Onto the memories of you,
The only reason I made it through.

When I think of you,
I can feel your embrace.
I'd see the ghost of your smile,
And the warmth of your presence,
If only for a while...

I want to blame Heaven, for taking you,
I hated that you couldn't stay.
If you had a choice which path would you choose,
If I had a say, you'd be here today.

And I hadn't cried,
At least not for a while.
Cuz I know you wouldn't want me to,
So I fake a smile,
When I think of you...

Midnight blue, in the darkest hue,
I'll stare at the sky,
Like I'm looking into your eyes,
I'll feel like I'm still with you...

*********
For the first time in 2 years since he passed away, reality hit me like a home run. I didn't cry at his death bed, I couldn't cry at his funeral, and I didn't of think anything when my parents picked out a casket. I was a living, breathing, emotionless body. Then one night in January I couldn't sleep, and I started crying. I remembered how he got me into technology, how he bought me my first computer game, how he taught me the right way to turn off a computer, and it hit me hard that he's not here anymore...So I wrote this...2-4 in the morning...and I dedicate this to my grandfather and anyone who reads this. If he's looking down from heaven, I hope he's proud...