Comments : Even If You Don't, Pretend To Love Me For A Second

  • 16 years ago

    by Bryan

    Tis another wonderful pome mel, love your use of complex imagination in your poems, i give it a 5/5 babe!!! keep these great poems coming!!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    Mel, this poem is absolutely beautiful! Wow... You left me speechless with unique structure of your thoughts and atmosphere that you created posses paralyzing touch which left me stunned and breathless!
    I must thank you thousand times for sharing this masterpiece cause I enjoyed in it so much. Totally creative work filled with remarkable, vivid images.

    -Pages of insecurities watercolor roads of chalked hearts,
    Distancing our love between broken color of determination,
    Embroidered firefly's prance become lost within painted hour,
    Though if you dare to stumble rain drops are all you shall see.-

    ^ This opening stanza is simply captivating, very cleverly written. I can't say that I understand complete meaning of your words but complexness of this lines added them even more beauty.

    -Grasp my hands in manipulation for daggers reach star hearts,
    Dreams of silhouettes shall now entwine with a rose of thorns,
    Pebbles portrayed an outcome as wax gently leaves the flame,
    Flower beds hold no beauty for porcelain lies aggravate my sleep.-

    ^Wow, you made so mind-blowing picture in this part of the poem. Your choice of words is very refreshing and it creates so interesting rhythm. Combination -rose of thorns- especially fascinated me! You amazed me with your expressions.

    -Moonlight across floor boards taunts me with its angelic glow,
    Whispering your words into the winds of a higher known calling,
    A scent of wicked perfume travels carelessly through light breeze,
    Tempting me with deceit as you play these games of pretend. -

    ^You made this words so alive and ending posses so much power. Whole poem has
    impressionable tone which reached it's maximum here. Simply beautiful and absorbing(absorbing cause it absolutely absorbed my attention) stanza.

    Overall I deeply, deeply, deeply, love your poetry and admire your priceless talent!

  • 16 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wow...
    I am honestly impressed. Every line of this piece holds so many excellently expressed emotions.

    - Pages of insecurities watercolor roads of chalked hearts,
    Distancing our love between broken color of determination,-
    ^^^
    I love the imagery that you created here. Great metaphor and very deep, emotional beginning pulled me straightly into this amazing piece.
    I like "painted hour"- truly greatly said.

    - Grasp my hands in manipulation for daggers reach star hearts,
    Dreams of silhouettes shall now entwine with a rose of thorns,-
    ^^^
    My compliments for the choice of words and imagery here. Original and breathtaking, so vivid. Your descriptions are flawless.

    -Pebbles portrayed an outcome as wax gently leaves the flame,
    Flower beds hold no beauty for porcelain lies aggravate my sleep.-
    ^^^
    Magnificent and remarkable, again. I especially like "flower beds" and "porcelain lies"- you portrayed fantastic pictures in my mind.

    The only thing I don't like here is the word "wicked" in the last stanza. That's just me, of course but that single words somehow threw me off in that line.
    The flow of the whole piece is great, too.

    - Tempting me with deceit as you play these games of pretend.-
    ^^
    Powerful and effective ending.
    I wish this poem was longer cause I could get lost in every single line.
    Keep up, I enjoyed, as always.

    -5/5-

  • 16 years ago

    by BrokenREALiTy

    First off, I must say that I absolutely adore the title of this poem. It's so simple, yet means so much.

    Pages of insecurities watercolor roads of chalked hearts,
    `A beautiful opening, truly. It's mesmerizing--and the way I interpret it, I find it brilliant. I never liked watercolors -- they tended to destroy my pieces and never came out looking right -- they're too runny, and I love the picture that this paints in my mind. A dripping road waiting to dry--"chalked" hearts...Brilliant. Chalk can be blown away--erased as easy as hearts can be broken. A fragility that I feel is captured wonderfully. Just my outlook anyhow.

    Embroidered firefly's prance become lost within painted hour,
    Though if you dare to stumble rain drops are all you shall see.
    `"Painted hour" -- Dazzling choice of diction. I can't explain it, but it so deeply pulls me in. I just love it. And rain drops are a beautiful thing to me--here, you make it come out as hauntingly beautiful.

    Grasp my hands in manipulation for daggers reach star hearts,
    Dreams of silhouettes shall now entwine with a rose of thorns,
    `GORGEOUS(!) imagery here. Oh, man. It literally took my breath away. Your word choice is so simple, but put in a way that's absolutely intricate and just stunning.

    Flower beds hold no beauty for porcelain lies aggravate my sleep.
    `The use of "Flower beds" here is brilliant. (how many times have I used that word in this comment so far?)

    Moonlight across floor boards taunts me with its angelic glow,
    Whispering your words into the winds of a higher known calling,
    A scent of wicked perfume travels carelessly through light breeze,
    Tempting me with deceit as you play these games of pretend.
    `For some odd reason, I feel like it should be taunt instead of taunts, but then I haven't been thinking straight for the past few months, so don't mind me.
    Anyhow, while reading that very last stanza, every word is just so animate and thriving. It's like they're breathing in my air. A gorgeous way to end such a magnificent piece. I just didn't like "wicked." It's like, I kind of get what you're getting at using that word, but it just doesn't sound right with the rest of the graceful expressions you used. Either way, this poem, is definitely flawless. The air that you create with the words is just so ... contradicting with the way I interpret this poem, but it's SO strong.

    Just beautiful.
    --..MiNDYY

  • 15 years ago

    by xoOrdinaryGirlox

    -Flower beds hold no beauty for porcelain lies aggravate my sleep.-

    ^^ This was my favourite line. I like the description you used for the bed and the lies. It's amazing. This whole poem just grabs your attention again and again to keep you there. And the images it creates.. You read it.. and you dont want to leave the images because they are so beautiful. You want to keep them in your mind.

    You make every word sound meaningful, like if it was missing.. it would be like putting a jigsaw piece back together with a piece missing. Impossible!

    I just simply love it. Truly amazing piece. :)
    XoOrdinaryGirloX

  • 15 years ago

    by Danielle

    Beautiful. genuinly.
    The title is amazing. i think everyone has felt like this at one point or another.
    fabulous.

  • 15 years ago

    by Blissful

    Loved the title .. as usual haha now on to the poem :]

    1st Stanza:
    Flawless use of imagery in your opening line. It just oozes perfection and compells me to read on. "Broken color of determination" -- that phrase just caught my eye because it was worded so nicely and made sense with the overall message in your piece.

    "Embroidered firefly's prance become lost within painted hour,"
    ^UHM WOW. This line just blew me away no joke I will attemp to find words to describe how this made me feel but I probably will fall short. Each word fit so nicely with the next that when I read it outloud .. it sounded so beautiful and even had a tune .. no joke man it was amazing.

    "Though if you dare to stumble rain drops are all you shall see."
    ^Wow another amazing line .. it just keeps getting better! I loved the meaning and truth you held behind this line .. very powerful and a joy to see.

    2nd Stanza:
    "daggers reach star hearts," -- I'm running out of words to described youre poetry because it is in a class all of its own. That line just blew me away and each word was powerful and just hit me hard which I enjoyed :] The second line in this stanza was flawless and the imagery just wow .. see I'm telling you my dear I am running out of words haha so please forgive me.

    3rd Stanza:
    You just know how to end your amazing poems with a BANG which just leaves me wanting moree of your words .. hope that doesnt sound weird haha. Yet again I am amazed by you use of words to create such a beautiful piece oh my it is time for me to stop rambling haha.

    Another wonderful piece by you my dear and I truly enjoyed reading your work today. Well done *5/5* for sure!

  • 15 years ago

    by Sherry Lynn

    There are times when the reader can only say well done and nothing more.

    For me, the time is when the poem is so well written that I am left in awe and yet yearning to accomplish something half as good.

    This is one of those times. The flow, structure, vocabulary, ... everything was very well penned and left me blown away.

    Well done...