Oh wow.. the shortest lines.. can be the most powerful ones... this i have to say was one of your best but thats just from me my opinion 8.0 if i could beautiful. wow that was shocking

Hmm, I do like the short lines, but I think you could have put more emotion in it. Go into more details, give the whole story. You're only telling part of the story right now, so I feel it's not finished. Short lines are hard to do because you have to put everything you want to say in so few words. The rhyming and flow were really good though. Hope this helps a little.

let tears fall,
and frowns grow,
let hate go,
and love show.

^^ This stanza was definitely the best, because I think it has the most emotion. Emotion is poems is really important to me. If you get the reader to feel what you want them to feel, that's amazin.

Keep writing!
Cayce

The flow was flawless, i really enjoyed this poem. I liked how you used a few words to describe how you felt, you did that well. You put alot of meaning behind simple words, which is admirable. =]
5/5