Comments : Scream Your Lungs Sore, Then Hit The Floor

  • 16 years ago

    by StandStill

    The first stanza in this poem is simply amazing, as is the entire poem. there is such emotion and hurt in it.

    Blood pouring, no one knows
    Silently waiting for the sirens to sound
    Pitch black; floor covered in red
    Your heart is torn and who cares?

    ^ so many people feel this daily. it's like, I am DYING inside and nobody cares. i completely understand this.

    the flow in this poem is also amazing. you have so much talent. it is hard to pack that much emotion in to so few words. great job. i hope that you know it will get better. god bless

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni

    Wow.

    Your poem was absolutely amazing. You are a very talented writer. The descriptions in the poem were perfect, not too much and not too little. Awesome job, keep writing and don't get discouraged!

  • 16 years ago

    by EssenceOfLace

    Good poem. It was very decriptive for its length. I only have one suggestion.
    It is for this line:

    "The voices tell you, its all your fault"

    I think you should take out the comma. They are usually intended for pause effect, and it didn't work there (for me).
    Some people may ignore it, but I don't.
    So whatever you choose to do, is of course, your choice. It is your poem.

    =) Still a great write.
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by The Sky is Falling

    Wow, this poem is written amazingly. I loved it, even though it's sad it reminds me somewhat of my life. But great job. I'm impressed. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by noha

    Nice i realy love it

  • 16 years ago

    by Suicidal Love

    Wow, really great well done! 5/5

    xXxSLxXx

  • 16 years ago

    by David Ensor

    Very catchy and full of emotion. I can feel the pain, and respect the honesty. not many people have that in them. good work

  • 16 years ago

    by Sweet lig

    Great thougths.... filled with deep words that full of emotions... the meaning of this poems was very meaningful and impressive.. it tells something about life that we can definitely realize.. excellent5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Unamed

    Good job!!!!.....full of emotion..very interesting!

  • 16 years ago

    by your love is mine

    Wow this poem is real powerful nice job.

  • 16 years ago

    by Sarahxbaby

    This is really good.

  • 16 years ago

    by xxxlOvElY sWeEtHeArTxxx

    I liked this poem..it kind of sent chills of my arm..

  • 16 years ago

    by Fake Facade

    Wow.
    it was a really powerful poem.

  • 15 years ago

    by StandStill

    This is just....great. and relatable and just amazing all over.

    Blood pouring, no one knows
    Silently waiting for the sirens to sound
    Pitch black; floor covered in red
    Your heart is torn and who cares?

    ^^ my favorite stanza...the who cares made me feel sick, honestly. because i've been asking myself that for what feels like forever...

    this poem is dark, sad, angry...perfect. 5.5

  • 15 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    Yup, sometimes you have no other resort... great write, love the tittle... 5/5