This is really inspiring and I can relate to it. Yes, we have to proud of ourselves even though we're not so pretty at all. Nice and thoughtful one...
Dark skin along your body, is that bothered you a lot?
And then you want all things that beautiful people got
You've tried so hard to make people say that you're hot
Trying to be anything else, everything that you're no
The truth in here was amazing and ones I am sure many could relate with. Everyone has something about themselves that bother them and make them feel unconfident but what people need to discover is that your imprefections are what make you special and you should embrace who you are not shun it. Well done *5/5*
"Freckles in your skin and pimples in your face"
Dayum boy, First line of the first stanza and you had me smilingg.
The complete first stanza really sucked me in, The flow was a little raw but in no way forced.
And I'd take raw over forced any day. But I found that in some parts it gets stiff to read, like in
"Maybe both are things that made you embarrassed"
by rearranging the words a little you can create a consistant flow.
I'm not sure if this poem is you talking about a lover, or if the subject is staring into the mirror. But I like that, It creates mystery. And also lets the reader choose, I chose it as looking in the mirror, for I see my imperfections. While another person may see it as loving their partners imperfections. I really liked this about the poem.
The message you get across is one we all need to learn, So I think your poem deserves 5/5.
I Enjoyed reading it, But maybe you could work on the flow. Because at times it feels a bit stiff.
Just friendly critic, Because I honestly liked this poem.
Thanks for sharing. (:
I liked the poem, I liked the message, and mostly liked your word choice. At some points the wording bugged me like:
"Dark skin along your body, is that bothered you a lot?"
seems to me that the "is" should be a "has", but grammar rules are often ignored in poetry and although it makes me stop for a second and look, it only distracts me from the poem slightly...
I particularly liked the first line. I love the freckles on my own shoulders, so that line seemed more personal to me, and then I have had a small problem with pimples for years.
I've made a point not to stare at myself in the mirror very much. Stop vanity, and bad self esteem.
I love your message, and you conveyed it beautifully, although at points it may not be the smoothest read. I give you a 4/5 for a great, but not "perfect" poem... But that is my own opinion, and really your opinion of the poem should probably matter above all else.