Comments : The souls revenge

  • 9 years ago

    by Normal is the Watchword

    To me, it ties together well and th e string in which each verse is attached beautifully is thin and breakable much like those, us, that can not accept blame for our own actions until the string is cut, and then we all much like shattered slippers, and build much like false grins.

  • 9 years ago

    by Cindy

    Kay
    This piece is full of deep and intense thoughts.

    Only evident thing is Death
    Born to die we face the test
    Facing truths in final breath

    These lines are so true. How many times do people wait till they are dieing to try to fix things they have messed up.

    Helping hands slap mouths they feed
    Mocking those in time of need
    God forbid they live and breed

    These lines make me so sad. Some people don't deserve to be parents. This is a excellent piece and really makes you stop and think.
    Great job!
    Love Cindy

  • 9 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Born to die we face the test...
    this line really blew me away!
    Such an intense poem by you Kay. It is really hard sometimes not to let life get to you isn't it?

    Take care,

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 9 years ago

    by JEFF

    Great write. love your writing skills. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Hiya,
    I really liked the way you structured your 'random thoughts'. Three rhyming lined stanzas.
    I find the random thought some of the best ones. Well done 5/5
    Michael

  • 9 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    ^Only evident thing is Death
    Born to die we face the test
    Facing truths in final breath^

    This stanza is very powerful and thought provoking. The flow was good throughout the piece. The last stanza was a perfect endiing. Excellent job!

  • 9 years ago

    by GretaInsideOut

    I could understand where you were going in this poem. Even though you said it was random thoughts. Good job,

    Greta xx

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    It feels like a song to me, I am singing it in my head, for random thoughts I think it is rather good.

    Only evident thing is Death
    Born to die we face the test
    Facing truths in final breath

    This is my favorite stanza. Good work.

  • 9 years ago

    by Edward D Zurovec

    Wow! Certainly a very eye opening write, touching me in many ways. I am penned in the first stanza, a sinner in the second, appaulled in the third, taken in the fourth, Stunned by the fifth and ashamed in the sixth. A brilliant work and a joy to read.
    Peace and Blessings

  • 9 years ago

    by Trish Danforth

    Even if its just random thoughts it is
    the best well put together random thoughts
    I have read in a long long time!

    Kepp it up. Its great.

  • 9 years ago

    by Cindy

    Congrats Kay....This is a wonderful piece. I'm so happy to see it won the weekly.
    Love Cindy

  • 9 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    To me they do make sence together, it is life isn't it?!?

  • 9 years ago

    by True Love Never Dies

    Beautiful and thought provoking words. We should all take heed of them. Well done good work XX
    Gail

  • 9 years ago

    by nobody truly knows me

    I love this. it describes society very well, i believe. 5/5. excellent job.

  • 9 years ago

    by ShoSho

    Loved the poem, even though they may have been random thoughts, you def got your point across. A very honest poem.

  • 9 years ago

    by Confessions

    Beautiful thoughts! the poem is amazing! that's the first poem I see that's thoughts are not "tied up" but still makes perfect sense to me. Great job!

  • 9 years ago

    by kidheir

    Wow excellent choice of words and its a great poem

  • 9 years ago

    by ashley joy

    It was really random and deep and I think that's what really tried it all together. It was really good and I love it!

  • 9 years ago

    by Fran

    Nice to see you back writing again. This is such a dark stream of consciousness that is captivating in a very honest way. I've added this to my favorites.

  • 9 years ago

    by Prasad Ramesh Baadkar

    God helps them those who help themselves to an extent much more that they can help others tooooo.... Wonderful thoughts and it should win..... any readers heart...