Wow. I very rarely give out 5/5s (I don't know if you know this), but this was brilliant. I almost gave it a 4/5, but I thought you really deserved the 5/5.

This piece was simple, yet complex, I feel. Very short lines, but so much power and emotion within them. This must have been a very, very hard piece to write, putting so much into such little space. Well bloody done indeed! Fantastic. One thing though, you know the 'Not Fair' line, well I think it should read 'So Not Fair', I just think it would help that bit flow better, but that's just my novice opinion. I think from the line 'Innocence Dead' down to 'Overdose' was my favorite part, the lines were exceptionally well written and extremely powerful. I think the end wasn't as strong as it could've been, and maybe if you ended it on 'Overdose' it would be a much stronger piece, but once again, I'm just a novice. A truely great piece, that I'll certainly be putting on my favorite poems list. Great work!

Brad

P.S. You might not have gathered this yet, but I loved it, lol

It was very good, but I want to know if it happened to you or a loved one?
please answer back
Alexis (:

Brill poem 5/5

This poem is unique. You used two or three words a line and wrote the whole piece as one stanza. This shows that the character in this poem is in a state of conusion. The rhymes and choosing of words showed the painful world you tried to pass on. A very dramatic ending - "The End". Liked the idea and the unique way of writing 5/5