I loved it especially the last stanza, we seem to all have these moments, nice poem 5/5 maybe u can read one of mine.

Hey great poem, i can relate 5/5

I think you did a great job on this one. You were very detailed and you wrote with tons of emotion and feeling. Keep up the awesome work, take care!

Nothing wrong with this poem...the flow is great and the story is one a lot of ppl will be able to relate too, I know I can.

Take care,

5/5 Ingrid

Wow!..i liked it...it has that idk how to say it..but kinda droopy aura to it..idk..but it was great..i enjoyed reading something that has great emotion to it!!!!
5/5
***aLy***

Great flow, and it is an easy read. i liked it.
5/5
-David

I like the flow that you created from the beginning to the end, you did good job with rhyming. This is a piece that a lot of people can relate to, filled with nicely expressed emotions. I don't like constant repetition of "she" through the poem, but that is just my personal opinion.
I think that you did good job with this piece. This is clishe, overused topic but you managed to create quite powerful atmosphere within the poem.
Keep up!

That's pretty good work to me!

keep it up xo

This poem reminds me of a lot of things that I write.
But it was written amazingly I think you did a great job.
5/5
Keep up the great work :D

I think its good, well done xx

"but she gave up on this fight" << That kind of confused me, It made sense and it went well with that stanza and the poem, but it through me off while reading it aloud and silently. So, I'm not quite sure why (therefore I'm probably wrong) but it just felt odd reading it.

-

You did a great job with this poem, I must say. I really like it. There was that one line, but other than that you did well. Now, I don't think it's your best either, but it's still flawless in some odd sort. It's like one of those poems that doesn't have any problems but they're not like boombamyeah amazing, you know? BUT, you did a great job with this poem.

I really, truly did like it.

Wow, really deep i like "angelic face" good imagry. I agree it wasn't your best but still up there! good no...great job! keep writing!!

Hey,
i have to say when i started reading this poem, i thought it was similiar to some of mine put together, the theme i mean, but as i read on i immediately realised it is very different and unique. i thoroughly enjoyed your volcabulary, it created imagery almost naturally and seemed very unforced. the flow was pleasant and rhymes also seemed natural. overall, its a story of suffering and pain; no smiles. it seemed to have flown out of the pen literally, did not seem forced at all. i enjoyed it because it is definately something i could relate to.
thanks for reading my poem.
take care x
ps. sorry for the essay! ^ =]

I am sorry to say that I read better poems of yours. This poem's rhymes are problematic. The structure is not orginized, as there are stanzas with short lines and some others with long rhymes. Try to write with a certain lengh throughout the whole poem. The concept of this poem is indeed a sad one, of a girl giving up on smiles because of her harsh life.

Liked it, but it could have been better 4/5

I don't think this was your best but I still really liked it. The emotion was really strong and the concept of the poem was good. You wrote about it well and in an original way. Some suggestions for improvement. Umm....The rhyme seemed a little forced at times, I don't know if it was really necessary. And maybe you could make the lines a little shorter like, break them up a bit more to improve the flow. Then it would also be easier to incorporate rhyme if you want it. Just some ideas. But otherwise, I really liked it.

Em xXx

PS, the vocab was really varied and not boring at all. Yay!

1st stanza.
amazing start. it's sorta like giving her backround, so we know how much she's changed.
2nd stanza.
the only thing that threw me off was that the rhythm jumped. all of a sudden, the lines turned hacka long. and i dont really know where the part about her being fake came from...
3rd stanza.
not the best. but also not the worst. i like your word choice though.
4th stanza.
amazing way to end it. the 2st and 3rd lines were ok. but that 2nd and 4th were amazing. i love the last line, its so intense

great job.

--> Sandra

Wow simply amazing. Wether you liked it or not i loved it. Another great one from you!

Take care and keep writing.
~Jo Anna EL

I think this is as awesome poem; I love the words, and the simple way it was written. I especially like the story you have portrayed. And again, I think you're an excellent writer......... I dont understand why people would give yu less than 5......

I think this is as awesome poem; I love the words, and the simple way it was written. I especially like the story you have portrayed. And again, I think you're an excellent writer......... I dont understand why people would give yu less than 5......