Lonely, don't ask me about lonely.
^^^ this was my favorite line because it tells you are more lonely then even the wolves, or children, or those women and men

Lonely are wolves without a pack
That only rely on strength and pride.
Lonely are children without homes,
They sit in darkness and hide.
^^^ I liked this stanza because i see the lone wolf standing on a cliff howling, and i see a child sitting alone on a dirty street in the dark

Lonely are the men that use women,
For cheap demeaning sex.
Lonely are the women with no morals,
That sell themselves as objects.
^^^ This is the total truth, because when these women sell themselves they are saying they can be replaced like an object

And I wish, I wish I were perfect... for her
^^^I like this line because everybody has someone they wish they could do everything for.

5/5 =)

Caitlin

Congrats on the win Darien :)

This is really good

can u comment on my poems recollection and secret fantsy
plz

...so true!

I'd like you to know that the poem is such a beautiful and an enjoyable one. You're one of a kind and a very gifted poet. Your wish at the end of the poem is mine too and I'm working towards it. Please keep it up. Could you find time to read, vote, critisize and comment on my poems too. Thanks.

The flow has its own beat i loved it, deep words got into my head and drew me a picture of a world i havent seen before, the message was clear and on to the point that really did leave me speechless after i read it, 5/5

I think this poem is the best poem I ever read, great job, lonely is the wrost feeling you can ever get. I love it!

It was a decent poem....don't get me wrong. It was obviously good considering the comments you've recieved on it. I haven't read any of your other stuff...(yet), but with this one, I can't say that the traveling in and out of rhyming did it a ton of good. I hate commenting when I've only read one piece but I had to because it is a nice poem with nice connections and a powerful meaning.. I also feel bad commenting because I don't think mine are that great so I think i need to fix mine before i can say anything about other peoples..... anyways... it was a good poem though! =]

- Kaitlyn

Great write, the flow was good as well as the structure. This had great imagery through out, it really painted a picture for me. Your use of vocabulary was nice and easy which I personally think made this poem flow nice since it wasn't over done with tons of big words.

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Lonely are wolves without a pack
That only rely on strength and pride.
Lonely are children without homes,
They sit in darkness and hide.

^^I liked the repetition of "Lonely are..." it made the poem come together and really mold as one. This was a great start to the poem, it really made me want to keep on reading and see what the poem was all about.

``````````

Lonely are the men that use women,
For cheap demeaning sex.
Lonely are the women with no morals,
That sell themselves as objects.

^^Again I liked the repetition, it makes the poem flow very nicely from one stanza to the next. I also liked the small little rhyme you did with sex and objects. This was a nice add on to the first stanza, which really made me ponder what would come next.

``````````

Lonely, don't ask me about lonely.

^^All alone this one line. But alone it isn't for it has meaning if looked upon. This was a nice one liner that broke the poem up a bit and gave it variety. It also gave you the opportunity to stop the repetition from the first and second stanza, which you did in the next stanza.

``````````

Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming,
Then suddenly, I realize how alone I am.
I can't explain why things went wrong,
Fate seems to have another plan for me.

^^This was an eye opener for many people can relate to this stanza. I liked the way it was worded it flowed very nice, however; I felt the last line made the flow choppy in my opinion.

Perhaps you can change the last line to this which would make the flow much better in my opinion:

For fate seems to have another plan.

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I've burned down way too many bridges,
Erased paths that I should have followed.
All I wanted was to be her one and only,
The one she would love with all her heart.

^^Now this stanza actually started to put some tears in my eyes, for I can relate to this and I'm sure many others can as well. The things we'd do for the ones we adore.

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And I wish, I wish I were perfect... for her

^^Interesting ending for me. I felt the ending could of ended a little better than that, but all-in-all it was a nice addition to the last stanza in which I felt summed up the poem very nicely.

``````````

Wonderful write, keep up the great work.

Peace, Joe

Lonely are wolves without a pack
That only rely on strength and pride.
Lonely are children without homes,
They sit in darkness and hide.

nice nice said !!too good expressed

Lonely are wolves without a pack
That only rely on strength and pride.
Lonely are children without homes,
They sit in darkness and hide.
^^ only thing here that seemed wrong was the comma in the third line and the fourth lines first word being capitalized. Other than that great intro! it was captivating i pictured a pack of wolves than a sad little boy homeless...i thought it was clever to build up to the more emotional one great job!

Lonely are the men that use women,
For cheap demeaning sex.
Lonely are the women with no morals,
That sell themselves as objects.
^^ok ok i loved this! so you took the concept in the first two lines and rolled it into the third and fourth lines! brilliant : ) i agree with you on both those statements by the way. ((again the comma and capitalized word thingy is there it just keeps getting at me ))

Lonely, don't ask me about lonely.
^^huh...that was very different from the rest of the poem which sort of made me curious why you put it in here ((curiosity is an amazing thing to have the reader feel tthough it keeps us involved and wanting answers))

Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming,
Then suddenly, I realize how alone I am.
I can't explain why things went wrong,
Fate seems to have another plan for me.
^^ fate always has control : / i don't like it either its like you have everything thought through and set than fate intervenes and messes it all up! so mean. great wording here you put down in words what i felt which was great for me to be able to relate to

I've burned down way too many bridges,
Erased paths that I should have followed.
All I wanted was to be her one and only,
The one she would love with all her heart.
^^so many people will read this stanza and be able to relate! personally this is my favorite stanza. It was worded nicely the flow was there and most of all it was unique from other writers way of putting this concept. It was not cliche at all.

And I wish, I wish I were perfect... for her
^^aw....so sad but cute!

the only problems i saw were with grammar and stuff so great job! if you just changed those things i would say its perfect! i can see why it won : ) 5/5 great job !

I love this poem...You are a talented writer...

Okey this was one of the best poems ive ever read i totaly agree with everything in it

I like it, Great write