Comments : Concrete

  • 9 years ago

    by pookiengurgi

    This is deep...really interesting.very emotional..5/5

  • I thought it was great. The consistency of the rhymes was flawless and the title was intriguing. You used the commas nicely, compared to the people that seem to scatter them all over the place, not knowing their purpose. In the end, great poem, bravo, and a five from me.

  • 9 years ago

    by Cindy

    EOB
    I really enjoyed reading thia piece you have penned. Very deep and intense thoughts.

    What else am I left with, but knowledge,
    and memories ridden with pain?
    The streetlights, a shadow, a number,
    what else, in the bitter rain?

    This stanza holds so much sadness within. Love the metaphors you have used here.

    The concrete and I have in common
    a grayness we cannot destroy.
    To think we would ever be colored;
    vain dreams of a blinded boy.

    This stanza is awesome. I love the way you have compared the concrete with the absense of color in your world. You did an excellent job ob this one.
    ~Bravo~
    Take care Cindy

  • 9 years ago

    by Cainer

    Very nice! I can understand everything being said.

  • 9 years ago

    by moon face

    The best yet

  • 9 years ago

    by Amberinaa

    AMAZING.

  • 9 years ago

    by Sourav

    Very thoughtful indeed. Short and meaningful... very well done!

  • 9 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Congrats on the spotlight! Love the poem! beautiful and hauntingly sad! Amazing flow and message!

  • 9 years ago

    by Lisa

    I LOVED IT

  • 9 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Amazing write...

    "The concrete and I have in common
    a grayness we cannot destroy.
    To think we would ever be colored;
    vain dreams of a blinded boy."

    so heartfelt...
    loved it...

  • 9 years ago

    by shobhana kumar

    "The concrete and I have in common
    a grayness we cannot destroy.
    To think we would ever be colored;
    vain dreams of a blinded boy."

    Only a true poet can do this: capture life in something others may not care to give a second glance.

    A very well deserved win and a wonderful write.

    good luck and peace
    shobhana

  • 9 years ago

    by waiting 4 some1

    Great poem
    no wonder it won

  • 9 years ago

    by Deana

    Unfortunately our fears are often realized,you create a mood in your writes almost like a melancholy acceptance of sadness. you lead the reader through a sad story with your imagery.Your rhymes are perfect.

  • 9 years ago

    by Sora Lynn

    A simlpy beautiful and emotional poem. one of the best i've read in awhile. thank you for sharing. job well done. 5/5.

    -Ashlei.

  • 6 years ago

    by HOLLY ARMER

    Your ability to take something so common, such as concrete, and create something so vivid and brilliant is astonishing!
    Beautifully written as always!