Comments : Insomnia

  • 9 years ago

    by StandStill

    Wow. i think i have insomnia..but i don't know for sure. and i turn to my computer..i turn to my friends...

    A poem of all the things I've always wanted to say to someone, but never did. Never will.

    ^ lol. don't we all wish that? i do....and the never will burns to read....great job.

    wow gaby...just wow. a great poem that definitely captures the frustration and desperation of an insomniac.

  • 9 years ago

    by Marius Laun

    That was way awesome, very picturesque. I really enjoyed it, and the flow was excellent. The word choice made the feelings of this really strong. Whatever inspired you to write this is must be very strong. Great job

  • 9 years ago

    by BluEyedMemory

    I love this poem... mainly because I live it. The poem is well thought out and very detailed... all together great write.
    Always
    Emma 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Yeah i felt that too, great job xx

  • 9 years ago

    by xFallenAngelx

    Wonderful poem.. i know the feeling sometimes.. i loved how expressive it was. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Bugg

    I love the first line! 'I dreamlessly dream about dreaming.' That line is beautiful to me. This poem was so expressive and emotional. I can really relate to it. Sometimes I over-think things a little too much. It had really good details and almost everything in this poem was perfect. Good job!

  • 9 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    I like this piece a lot. The atmosphere that you created is very captivating and your vivid descriptions held my attention from the first to the last line.
    I really like your writing style- you have good vocab and you are able to portray such mind-blowing imagery and this poem is not an exception.
    The flow is fantastic despite free structure.
    I can relate to this poem in so many ways which make it more powerful for me.
    Some of my favorite lines from this piece are:

    - As I lie awake, I dreamlessly dream about dreaming.-
    ^^
    Good wordplay here. Very effective.

    - With every imaginary ticking of my digital clock, words flow throughout my head.
    A poem of all the things I've always wanted to say to someone, but never did. Never will.-
    ^^^
    Amazingly written part, very heartfelt and every word here seem perfectly picked.

    - Waiting desperately for the rush of adrenaline from the licking flames to kick in,-
    ^^
    I like the imagery here a lot.

    Overall, greatly done!
    5/5 from me

  • 9 years ago

    by xxSnow Angelxx

    The poem was beautifully penned..perfectly flowed..
    You've portrayed a sharp,vivid,clear description and penned the whole movie-ish write painted in a picturesque manner

    As I lie awake, I dreamlessly dream about dreaming.-
    ^^excellent play of words...graet usage....gives some space for thought....I've found myself in such a situation

    Keep up the good work..5/5 =)

    Pooja

  • 9 years ago

    by noha

    Its beautiful and i know that feeling and to weak all the night thinking and you brain wont stop,sometimes i feel the morning never come and i saw dreams but i'm still a weak,well done you write it in good way and i know you could do better.5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by WrittenInTheStars

    I love this poem. It's so descriptive and unique. I think most people can relate to this. Keep on writing sweetie.

  • 9 years ago

    by Sandra D

    As I lie awake, I dreamlessly dream about dreaming.
    --> wow, amazing choice of words.
    The air is cold.
    It nips at my bare feet like a swarm of ravenous mosquitoes, but I do nothing.
    --> i felt that on my feet when i read that line
    With every imaginary ticking of my digital clock, words flow throughout my head.
    --> your descriptions are amazing
    A poem of all the things I've always wanted to say to someone, but never did. Never will.
    They drip down from my eyes, onto my tongue.
    --> oh my god. amazing word choice
    I wonder if I could say them, just to the lingering darkness, to push away the fog from my mind.
    --> that line sorta confused me....
    But my throat is sore, and any sound coming from my mouth would end up as a mumbled whisper.
    The words fade.
    My dog snores.
    I envy him, able to just lie down and sleep at will, without these cursed thoughts torturing him.
    --> i love how you brought in the dog. it kinda makes the feeling you're feeling seem worse, comparing them to a dog... a creature that spends it's whole life forgetting bad things that happen.
    If only my mind had the ability to shut off on command. Thinking is painful, but not as bad as dreams.
    Nightmares flood me even in the day.
    My battle against their clutching grasps is fueled by caffeine and sugar, but theirs is fueled by memories.
    --> you bring in so many sorta random things to this poem, but they all seem so right. like the way you use them. amazing.
    Even though I long desperately to give in,
    I fear they'll drown me in reality.
    --> true. reality sucks
    Waiting desperately for the rush of adrenaline from the licking flames to kick in,
    I turn to the stimulation of my computer.
    Morning takes too long to come.
    --> nice end to a truly intense and emotion filled poem.

    great job.

    --> Sandra

  • 9 years ago

    by Emma

    Even if we're not insomniacs, we all understand the feeling of not being able to sleep and the pain that can come when we start to think about things in bed. A great choice of subject for a poem, and the poem itself was clearly very carefully crafted. You express yourself very beautifully. Xxx

  • 9 years ago

    by william

    That is just truth
    iv had insomnia for years
    its destroyd me several tyms over
    i can understand this perfectly.
    eerie

  • 9 years ago

    by SiLeNtLy ScReAmInG

    Wooowwww gaby. I could really relate to pieces of this poem. it was just like you were speaking but with a unique way of saying things. Easy to understand and awesome descriptions. Creative descriptions. I wasn't sure I liked the use of dreamlessly dreaming of dreaming in the first line. it's got the rhyme and repetition and stuff, but I thought the repetition was good, but also i wasn't sure if i liked the word being used 3 times in a row, but it has a flow or rythem to it as you read it so I'm not sure on it.

    With every imaginary ticking of my digital clock, words flow throughout my head.
    I had several favorite lines from the poem that I'm gonna pick out and explain why I liked them. this was one of them. I liked the description of the imaginary ticking cause digital clocks don't tick. it was a cool idea and the words flowing in the head yea I could relate to that. oh so many words.

    I wonder if I could say them, just to the lingering darkness, to push away the fog from my mind.
    so many things i want to say but can't I could relate to this line a lot especially the fog in the mind part. my head has been so foggy lately sot this line just popped out at me as a perfect line for describing things.

    But my throat is sore, and any sound coming from my mouth would end up as a mumbled whisper.
    I could relate to this line cause when i do try to speak out loud my words come out as babble or mumbleing or both so this popped out at me too and i really liked the line.

    I turn to the stimulation of my computer.
    Morning takes too long to come.

    The stimulation of the computer I know what that is like, and yea morning does take too long to come. good description perfect way to end the poem.

    Overall a good poem I liked it. sorry this comment took awhile coming, but I've had to wait till my head was clear enough to think to be able to comment. and when it is clear enough I only have a limited amount of time that it's clear so I finally got to commenting like I promised. I give you 5/5 on this gaby i thought it was good.

  • 9 years ago

    by Cayce

    As I lie awake, I dreamlessly dream about dreaming.

    ^^ Wow, amazing opening line. It's so confusing, but in a very good way. So originial.

    It nips at my bare feet like a swarm of ravenous mosquitoes, but I do nothing.

    ^^ I love how you used the word "ravenous" it's very descriptive.

    A poem of all the things I've always wanted to say to someone, but never did. Never will.

    ^^ I loved the shortness of the last sentence. It gives an impact that adds to your poem nicely.

    If only my mind had the ability to shut off on command. Thinking is painful, but not as bad as dreams.

    ^^ You have no idea how much I can relate to this line. People always ask me why I hate sleeping and this is the answer... I hate dreams with a passion..

    I turn to the stimulation of my computer.
    Morning takes too long to come.

    ^^ More relatable lines. I'm always on my computer, mostly at night. Morning really does take too long to come... longer than it should take.

    I absolutely loved this poem, because of it's uniqueness and because I can relate to it so very well. It's like you were pulling these thoughts from my head. Amazing job, hun!

    Keep writing and stay strong!
    Cayce

  • 9 years ago

    by RetroRavey

    I really like it. Very vivid description, it kinda sucked me in so I just wanted to keep reading.

    5/5