Comments : The Carousel

  • 9 years ago

    by Cindy

    Luanne
    This is so sad and gutwrenching to read. Yet you have hit so many of the feelings head on.

    Burnt youth, death penetrates the heart
    bud broken before the flower could start
    life stands still, zestfulness gone
    tears tumble, as the carousel prances on ....

    And it does go on and on and on.........
    When some sicko staels the innocence of childhood it can never be brought back. They will carry it with them through their life. It effects everything they do. Always there in the back of their mind hiding. Picking the worse times to rear it's ugly head. It touches the lives of everyone who is in the victims life especially those the victim loves.
    This is such a deep and intense write Launne. Ssorry for going on so long about this but it just really touched close to home.
    Thank you.
    Excellent job!
    Cindy

  • 9 years ago

    by Jackie

    Such a sad heart rending poem, so beautifully illustrated, so many young lives are shattered this way. 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Luanne,

    I took me years to get over the way I was raped as a child myself. I think you made a very beautiful poem about this:)

    Much love for you,

    Ingrid

  • 9 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Luanne,

    This poem was beautiful sad. You really played with my emotions throughout this piece. I cannot explain how touched I am through your words. One thing I must say about your poetry is you seem to teach me. I sad that about your last poem I read of yours but the truth is you do it over and over again through your beautiful words. You expressed how a childs life would change through something like this and I honour you for doing so. Even though I don't know you, through your poetry it feels like I do and you my dear have a beautiful heart. Thankyou for sharing this heart braking piece which has brought tears to my soul.

    Two stanza which I adored were these below.

    Burnt youth, death penetrates the heart
    bud broken before the flower could start
    life stands still, zestfulness gone
    tears tumble, as the carousel prances on ....

    Just as the carousel, her life will keep turning
    around and around in circles, memories churning
    gripping shadows follow, on through the years
    she marries, has children, and they too see the tears

    Both touched my heart in many ways. This poem is a gorgeous Gem and I'm going to be nominating it fo the weekly contest. Well done on writing this. ~Mel

  • 9 years ago

    by debbylyn

    Very powerful and moving...love the carousel metaphor....

    From the beginning to the end it captures and holds rapt the reader with intense emotions. I love the visuals of that small child on the carousel...that suddenly turns as the dark events alter and shadow the beauty of the ride....

    "Just as the carousel, her life will keep turning
    around and around in circles, memories churning
    gripping shadows follow, on through the years
    she marries, has children, and they too see the tears"

    ^Awesome ending......the pain endless and passed on in the tears to another generation....

  • 9 years ago

    by Normal is the Watchword

    Wow Luanne, I never knew that about you. You are a beautiful writer and there is so much sadness in this piece, all wrapped up in a horrible but true message, and placed out there for them all to see.

  • EXTREMELY powerful!! This was an absolutely amazing write and i cannot wait to read more from you! this line was brilliant:
    "dreams dependent to a heart left forsaken"
    OUTSTANDING JOB!!!

  • 9 years ago

    by Michelle

    It's pretty. But not all rape stories are that glum in the end. Even child rape. I was when i was little too. I was 3/4 by my own father. But i don't dwell on it and it doesn't ruin my life. As a matter of fact, now i think of it as only an afterthought. But i like your poem a lot.

  • 9 years ago

    by Addie Coleman

    Your story is heart breaking im going through hard times to your story touches my heart

    from addie age-9