Comments : Black Ink

  • 9 years ago

    by Cindy

    Luanne what a awesome piece you have penned here. Wow!!! The imagery is fantastic. The emotions just creeped under my skin and found there way to my heart.

    Words held captive, begging for release
    as a naked canvas pleads for color.
    Perhaps grassy hill and sunny skies,
    will purge the ache in my heart.
    Though ...
    nothing brings relief, not even vibrant colors.
    Slashes of sarcastic black, laugh at me now

    This stana ahs so much meaning to it. How many times we want to write of beauty. Yet the heart breakiing memories of our lifes we store in the dark corners of heart and mind find there way to slowly make themselves heard.

    Perhaps the darkness that looms upon my canvas
    will suddenly transform into something, beautiful.

    The wirter sets and waits and it dosen't flow from the mind to the pen. Seems the mind and pen have diffrent plans.

    Or ...
    Perhaps I will remain a poet caught in a web of
    darkness, tears and solitude.

    ^^^^^^
    These lines are so heartbreaking.

    And ...
    Perhaps the rain will never allow me to create
    imagery of beautiful sunsets within a lover's arms.

    And I will remain a caged poet,
    peering out through the bars of my mind.
    Scrawling on the walls with black ink ...

    You have touched on the very essence of the caged poet.
    Excellent job!
    Love Cindy

  • 9 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Perhaps I will remain a poet caught in a web of
    darkness, tears and solitude.

    o-O Luanne...
    You have no idea how close to home these lines are for me.
    Free verse gives you to chance to express yourself far better, don't you think?
    This poem I could feel deep inside and knowing I am not the only one having these feelings makes me feel a lot stronger.
    Thanks for sharing!

    Much love,
    Ingrid

  • 9 years ago

    by Cara

    Hey i really like it. i read ur comments on
    another persons work and i was like wow. you put so much time into it, its realli great.
    i love how you write its realli good.
    xx

  • 9 years ago

    by Tom Swart

    The tides are to the beach what your words are to this poem. When they receed they expose the emotion that you displayed so well. When they pull back they need a blanket to fill the void left by words freed by your poets heart that find their way to this page where you caged them just right for us. Nice I liked it...peace .

  • 9 years ago

    by Abu3li

    Praying for the intoxication of serenity,
    to rid my mind of ache.
    Free my veins of this cold torture that
    cascades sorely, with each beat.
    ~Sighs~
    Maybe tomorrow, color will come.

    i liked this stanza though the poem as a whole is so captivating

    really a nice piece of work

    good luck

    take care

  • 9 years ago

    by debbylyn

    So much in this one Luanne....all the emotions and feelings of the poet/poetess when they try to release pent up feelings....I've sometimes wondered...why can't I seem to capture happiness, light and love in my words.....

    "Words held captive, begging for release
    as a naked canvas pleads for color.
    Perhaps grassy hills and sunny skies,
    will purge the ache in my heart.
    Though ...
    nothing brings relief, not even vibrant colors.
    Slashes of sarcastic black, laugh at me now"

    ^love the imagery here.....trying for vibrancy...yet the soul only able to release the darkness....

    "A new day ...
    Pen in hand, ink pounds at the cage,
    where pain and heartache dwell.
    Wishing for the comfort of yellow ducks
    and calm glistening waters to soothe
    the insanity I feel overcoming me."

    ^ perfect....love the yellow ducks/calm glistening waters insertion.....what we all crave....yet some find find so elusive.....yet there is still an element of hope in this....

    "Praying for the intoxication of serenity,
    to rid my mind of ache.
    Free my veins of this cold torture that
    cascades sorely, with each beat.
    ~Sighs~
    Maybe tomorrow, color will come."

    ^again I feel the hope for tomorrow...though today may be bleak....hope again speaks in this verse....

    "Perhaps the darkness that looms upon my canvas
    will suddenly transform into something, beautiful.
    Or ...
    Perhaps I will remain a poet caught in a web of
    darkness, tears and solitude.
    And ...
    Perhaps the rain will never allow me to create
    imagery of beautiful sunsets within a lover's arms.

    And I will remain a caged poet,
    peering out through the bars of my mind.
    Scrawling on the walls with black ink ..."

    ^awesome ending....beautiful metaphors.....though hopeful in parts I feel there is deep anguish in the ending lines....a tortured heart that longs for love and happiness...like so many poets....caged...

    Great job! A winner for sure! 5/5

  • 9 years ago

    by Lover Boii

    I really liked it, the rhyme scheme was great.

  • 9 years ago

    by C P Sharma

    The poem touches a great poetic heights. Although it is rich in imagery and diction yet the poetess feels that the expression of her feelings about colourful variety in life and the world is only a captive which is overshadowed by gloom.

  • 9 years ago

    by disturbed one

    Wow. you really pulled this one off. I think i'll favorite you now :D

    Was some of this poem about having writers block or was it all about creativity and expression?

    I though some could be about writers block.

    Anyways..another amazing poem :D

  • 9 years ago

    by Katie

    The title of this poem is what caught my attention, and I'm very thankful of that. It's truly an amazing poem, you did an awesome job. I bet a lot of people can relate to it.

    "And I will remain a caged poet,
    peering out through the bars of my mind.
    Scrawling on the walls with black ink ..."

    This stanza is one of the most powerful I've ever read. It was a great choice for ending the poem.

    Keep it up, and thanks for the comment. =]