Comments : It remains to be seen...

  • 15 years ago

    by sweet escape

    1. "In the world of men, I must show only strength, I have no choice but to work to that length." i think you ment to make it two lines at strength but just made a lil' mistake.
    2. "I long for the sensuality that only true love and respect brings, all the while missing certain little things." should be made into 2 lines at brings
    3. "I understand someday there will be a break in that wall, yet still do not see where to find it all..." should be 2 lines at wall
    4. "I need that strength to control and provide me,
    with the love and respect of he who stands beside me. That strength is required to look into his eyes and respond equally." - this stanza broke the flow and threw me off a little. i dont have an easy fix for this one and am at a loss at how you could do a minor change to fix it.

    all in all i loved the meaning and feeling you put into this poem and give it a 4/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Robert

    I liked the poem the flow was good the use of words like other you wrote very well done. I love your vocabulary and for being a self appoint novice your work is remarkablly better then most I have seen here.

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    As a member of the male gender I strive to improve yet to most it remains to be seen

    I really enjoyed this poem and will add you to my favorites

  • 15 years ago

    by Sourav

    It's a good poem. The way you've expressed your feelings is simply very nice. Very genuine thoughts have flowed through this poem. I enjoyed the piece.

    But this poem needs to be edited. As few members already pointed out so there's nothing new to say on that point. All I can say if you edit this poem perfectly then it'd be a very good one. Well done! Keep on writing!

  • 13 years ago

    by victoria

    I really enjoued this poem. Very deep and told a great story. Loved the flow. Beautiful.

    victoria