Comments : When You Grow up, Your Heart Dies

  • 9 years ago

    by WrittenInTheStars

    Wow. Very strong poem. I love your word use. The structure of this poem is very well put together and the flow is great. Nice job once again.

  • 9 years ago

    by Lu

    It used to be so innocent,
    This heart inside my chest,
    It knew not of those lonely times,
    That leave us feeling pressed.
    ^^^
    You express the times of youth so well in this stanza. Innocent and exploring the world without the pains of what's to come.

    We push to lose that innocence,
    And once it's gone we try,
    To get it back at any cost,
    Until the day we die.
    ^^^
    You have penned such truth within these lines.

    If only we could start over with the knowledge and wisdom we hold now ~sighs~

    Another excellent read wonderfully penned ....
    Luanne

  • 9 years ago

    by Gizmo

    We push to lose that innocence,
    And once it's gone we try,
    To get it back at any cost,
    Until the day we die.
    ^^
    and its something that we all do, we all wish to grow up seeing it as more fun, being able to do whatever we please, but we get a shock, when we end up dispising having ever wished for it, and my grandmother told me when i was little, that she probally till the day she dies will wish to be young once more (rip)

    It used to be so innocent,
    This heart inside my chest,
    It knew not of those lonely times,
    That leave us feeling pressed.
    ^ that is such a true statement and i'm sure everyone at one point will agree with it, that when you grow up, your innocence leaves you, you lose that that made you a child so vunerable and small, and you will experience lonely times and trials that you did not know existed when you were smaller.

    the whole structure, tone, flow perfect. even the lanuage the vocabulary skills used, was damn spot on, as well as the concept for the whole poem. excellent write