Comments : My Song Bird Died

  • 15 years ago

    by Dustin S

    I realy enjoyied this! 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by robin milford

    Good job I enjoyed this one

  • 15 years ago

    by Mister 47

    Well , this si a great poem here , grerat structure , i can say much better then my own i can see much work in it ,

    jsut the fourth paragraph the last line , i think too short for the rhyming of jaz i am pianist so i know abotu beat, yes manything you can doo in beating and rhyming but in turning a peom to song , you consider not jsut the beat

    btu the segmentation of the line
    in a song , you msut have monotonie a bit in the structrure of the lines ,
    like you did in the 5 pradraph , is great job ,

    i hope you get me if you want more discussion about this , PM me , !!!

    i will be glade to talk this with you

  • 15 years ago

    by Jim McMillen the man within

    Now that is how you take a sad song and make cheerfully enlightening

  • 15 years ago

    by Forever

    I really like this poem! Good job!

  • 15 years ago

    by Empathy

    Quite nice. The rhymes go well with the the theme of your poem, and very little to none seemed forced. I like your closing stanza. Overall I would say you did a very nice job with this. Excellent.

  • 15 years ago

    by Muhammad Junaid

    Wow.
    It was veryy good.I am really impressed.I hope i could write such thing.You are really Creative,it seems you have very strong emotions.Really i dont have words to praise what i have read and juddged you from your writing.It is really verry good.
    I am submitting my poems in this forrum and i need people like you to read them,give me suggestions and corrections,so that i can also improve my abilities.It will be very nice of you,if you please take out some time and read my few submitted poems.I would love to hear some possitive criticism from your side.
    Love
    Junaid

  • 15 years ago

    by Muhammad Junaid

    Hello
    I am deeply thankfull to you that you have rated and made comments on my poem in the near past.
    I have submitted my peom "Child Beggar Noshi",That i wrote when i was a Student of Civil Engineer,this is a real story of a Young Girl,and when i meet her,i was deeply grieved to see her condition.Kindly read my poem "Child Begger Noshi" and rate and Comment on it,to let me know,did it touched your heart or not
    You won my heart by commenting on my poem....i am expecting that you do this favour again
    Thanks alot
    Love

  • 15 years ago

    by RussianRendezvous

    Amazing! The symbolism is great and it's also kind of adorable at the same time : )
    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Yeka

    Amazing truly wonderful love this poem (^_^) I'll add this in my fav. (^_^) 5/5