It's just a feeling...

It's just a feeling that I cannot explain,
like everyday I'm trying to outrun a train.
But every time I start, it's only to fall again.
Life is turning out to be too insane.

Looking in the mirror is a face I hardly know,
it's dark and empty, without any glow.
It never used to be like this,
but I guess there is always a first.

It's just a feeling I cannot explain.
I know your dealings are more than sane.
You have more problems than me everyday.
But why do I feel that in this place I cannot stay?

We always hope for what we cannot see,
thinking of the person we can never be.
We always hope to shine amongst the rest.
But when the time comes we always fail the test.

Broken apart and hollow in her heart,
emptiness and pain creeping in so fast.
Confusion and disillusion stealing a small part.
The end is nowhere near - it's all a false start.

I dreamed too high and fell down too hard.
Looked around but events left me scarred.
Memories and a being shrouded to pieces.
Was this my path, crumpled with creases?

There was no light when friendship met an end.
But the mistakes we made we'd continually defend.
Keeping our distance and not sharing that much.
It's a shame things turned out as such.

Though we're still talking, it's just not the same.
In each of our heart's there's this aching pain.
It's a gamble to keep us at bay,
but we're stuck in a place wherein neither shall stay.

It was a choice I made that feels so wrong.
Thinking of you only maintains this sad song.
Melancholic verses play all round,
Dreams and hopes shattering silently upon the ground.

Same or different - would it make a change?
A different portrayal of a picture to change your range.
But the mirror never lies,
for you see the hatred in your eyes.

It's a person that you loathe,
In a dark place you wish it to be stowed.
It never vanishes nor does it fade,
that image just aided you in your distaste.

Was it your words that cut so deep?
Or was it my own fault that I placed myself in need?
Was it right or wrong to expect something in return?
Or from your silence should there be something I must learn?

I was lost and wandering along this path unsure.
Soon stumbled upon people that helped find a cure.
The distaste for myself faded without any bliss.
And the empty hole remained amiss.

But lost and confused leaves deeds undone,
and with time there is a loss for tasteful fun.
It was a path erased from the mind,
and tortures revealed a way unkind.

Falling back and forth - a zombie walking due to lack of sleep,
your words echoing deep in my mind- forever to keep.
It was distaste for myself that brought me to shame,
it was the hatred that released all the pain.